I remember my first apartment had this beautiful gay couple living upstairs. They didn't get after it much, but it was so loud when they did. I'm talking an hour straight every time. This dude's d1ck must double as a metronome - that's how his timing was. And it was directly above my bed.

I must admit that I was chronically single at the time and I may have once or twice heard them getting after it and "played along". Weird but hey, if you're going to loudly ♥♥♥♥, I'm going to listen.

Couple months later they invited me over for a drink. Found out they had their laundry machine right above my bed. Turns out, they were just platonic roommates and I jerked off to their washing machine.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see homosexuals playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against discrimination and like ill be the one on the floor rubbing the other off. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that was flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and gay xxx*

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Local Disk (C:)
└📁Program Files (x86)
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⠀⠀└📁steamapps
⠀⠀⠀└📁common
⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
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