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France 
5 
1 
Mind-blowingly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Delicious ♥♥♥-tastic Pies!
Ingredients:
2 cups of heavy cream (♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heavy, just how we like it!)
1/2 cup of granulated sugar (sweet like your mom's... wait, nevermind)
1/4 cup of all-purpose flour (all-purpose? More like all-purpose-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-amazing!)
4 large eggs (coскsuскing large eggs, holy shet!)
1 tsp vanilla extract (vanilla? Nah, let's add a splash of your favorite liqueur instead!)
A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥-ton of whipped cream (the more the merrier, you greedy bastard!)
Sprinkle of cinnamon (sweet like your sister's... okay, maybe not that analogy)
1 tub of frozen whipped topping (that you'll use to cover up the fact that you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up the pie)
1. Preheat your oven to 350°F (♥♥♥♥, get that oven hot as your bedroom after a wild night!)
2. Roll out that store-bought pie crust (Plop it into a pie tin and crimp the edges like a ♥♥♥♥-hungry virgin!)
3. In a saucepan, combine the heavy cream, sugar, and flour. Cook it over medium heat until it thickens (does that sound pornographic or what?)
4. In a separate bowl, beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of those eggs until they're frothy (almost as frothy as you'll be after eating this pie)
5. Slowly pour the egg mixture into the saucepan, stirring constantly like you're trying to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ruin your arm (but hey, at least it'll be a good workout!)
6. Add the vanilla (or that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ liqueur, you naughty thing!) and stir some more (♥♥♥♥, what a workout!)
7. Pour the creamy, gooey filling into the crust
9. Let the pies cool (cool like your chances of getting laid after eating these calorie bombs, haha!)
10. Once cooled, shove a ♥♥♥♥-ton of whipped cream on top (almost as much whipped cream as you'll want to shove somewhere else, if you know what I mean)
11. Sprinkle some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cinnamon on top for good measure (cinnamon, the spice of life! And the spice of your ♥♥♥♥♥♥-up fantasies, probably)
12. Stick a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cute little pie pick in the center, like a cute little coсk (wait, what were we talking about again?)