Recent reviews by 『Throat★Goat』Vulpes

We know what this is. It's a reskin of banished with less effort in the AI and you were like me, you hoped it was more. It's not. What little more they did add? The tech tree? They made it easier with a recent update. Don't waste your time.

Short. Even with it's multiple "endings." I usually enjoy those artsy games-with-a-point. But pretentious doesn't even begin to cover this boring romp through no-♥♥♥♥-ville.

"Oh, free will isn't real!"
"Haha, no matter what you do, some things can't be changed!"
"Tee hee hee! Water is wet and I'm an English narrator! That means this game is smart for some reason!"

Jesus Christ, man. If it got any more heavy handed I'd have had to buy it some kind of bracing just so it could hold up its' flimsy level of enjoyment. Read about it, watch someone play it, whatever. Just.... don't pay for this. I found out way too late it's an ascended mod from source engine. That in itself isn't bad, but you've seen what its' users make. thousands of times. I guarantee you. Portal 2's mechanics were cool and fresh when portal 1 came out. What little of them you see (portal doors.)

I.... really wanted to like this game. I really did. Borderlands as a series is amazing and... well, hell, I'm all for a lore based game that ties up loose ends. But this had to be th single most horrible money grab I have ever seen. Where does one even begin? How about with the poor writing? Moxxie has all kinds of people killed all the time. Jack has 4 scientists killed and suddenly she, and the whole cast, is up in arms ready to kill him. The man who, in this story, wants to SAVE Elpis and Pandora both. The man who genuinely feels a need to be a hero to people. This is an admirable quality and yet... here we are. Constantly dumping on the one guy who had any morals in the entire series! It makes no sense to characters that are otherwise written to be sane. I never used to hate lillith. And really, spoilers for why I now do, so I'll let that be. But let me just say, Handsome Jack is NOT a villain as of this game. He's a man who was broken time and time again by an idiotic set of australian writers. Nice job, guys. Nice. Job.

I almost feel like this is a caricature of what real depression is like.

It's a roguelike with a backstory to keep you guessing, and enough items to keep you busy for months. If you remember or still browse newgrounds, this game may just be for you. It's created by the same man who designed:

-Super meat boy
-Time ♥♥♥♥
-Spewer
-Gish
-Host
-Triachnid
-Coil

He's a master of grossout humor, while at the same time keeping story and plot to a subtlety that just keeps you asknig why. If the ability to fight dead babies in an attempt to save your soul from a percieved darkness and your body from a mentally unstable mother with bloody tears aren't enough, then well.... hell why are you reading this?

Honestly, I wasn't too sure about devoting any time to an MMO. Especially one that restricts the characters you use. But I am really glad I did. It's as if castlevania became an MMO, and actually did it right. Dynamic combat, easy to grasp controls, toggleable difficulty, easy to understand crafting system, the list goes on! And with it being a free game, they don't play around with you and charge you to go to special areas, the only thing they charge for are items you don't really need! So why not give it a try? You've got nothing to lose!