Recent reviews by Pocket Noodle

It's a classic... but at the same time this game is broken as ♥♥♥♥.
-NPC activate random scripts: for example Flat Line mission: Therapist walking across the ENTIRE MAP to the very place where your exit is just to introduce himself despite never seeing you in his life before. Targets for some reason going to therapist office and getting stuck there, often all three of them despite you never interacting with them (and actually being careful to never even get close to them during later attempts)
-NPC seeing through the walls. Despite doing silent takedown or kill you are spotted by someone in entirely different room
-Hivemind: silent killing enemy a millisecond after he spotted you immediately notifies everyone on the map
-Absolutely broken Artificial (lack of) intelligence: NPC getting suspicious of you despite never seeing you in their life. I think the worst I encountered was in Murder of Crows mission. Policeman: oh, you're a guy wearing a bird costume in the middle of a huge crowd of people where literally half has bird hats and other costumes in the middle of Mardi Gras, a holiday known for celebrating in costumes on the streets. I better immediately start shooting, you look suspicious. No, I didn't have a gun, I never even take any for the missions
Same mission: Policeman in front of the bar: "Sorry. No costume, no entry, no drinks." Meanwhile me wearing a bird costume: aha.
Again same mission: Set the briefcase with diamonds on the table like you're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ supposed to do. Suddenly tension 100% and everyone attack you. ??????????????"

You had an amazing thing and you turned it into a subscription based product. Shame on you. It was fun to try it out but I'm not going to pay you every month for it. Shame on you.

I've heard a lot of opinions like "It's the best RPG I've ever played" so I decided to check it out myself. And I have to say I was very disappointed. Sure, it's supposed to be a "realistic" kind of RPG set in historical medieval times but unfortunately the realistic part just means that the game was fit with quite a few very annoying and very unnecessary mechanics, for example sword sharpening ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Fortunately the player doesn't have to use most of them.

The good things:
I really liked the graphics. Sure it's not jaw dropping on highest settings but it's very pleasant (although the clipping of clothing on literally every character in the game is off putting. There is a mod to fix it though)
The setting and plot: Medieval Eastern Europe. A very interesting and pleasant setting and a reasonable surprisingly unusual despite the abundance of RPGs on the market since most of the fantasy games are about a magical world you have to save. It's nice to have a change for a time where you don't have to save the world and you gotta focus on more humanly needs.
A very likeable and simple main character who seems to be struggling in the world and slowly setting in just like the player that controls him. From the appearance point of view the main character is also very pleasant to look at. He doesn't look like a femboy elven rouge nor like a pile of muscles with overly defined jaw like in other games. He's just a very normal and very simple young man.
I also very much enjoyed the voice acting in Czech version. They hired very good actors and most of them really fit into the role. Henry's voice is also very fitting to a character.

Now the bad things:
English dubbing: I wanted to play it with english dubbing at first but it was just... so.. horribly.. unfitting. Literal TES: Oblivion-quality dubbing. I can't speak for all of voice actors and about later parts of the game but for the little bit of it I played in english the actors seemed to just... read out the lines, emotionless and just to be done with it. And when I saw that Sir Divish, an elderly man, was set with a young (or at least young-sounding) actor who didn't even try to sound older I was like "nope, gimme another one. I can't listen to it".
The game seems to be struggling with collisions in some places. I very often ended up running in place because a single pixel on the staircase was preventing me from going up so I had to jump around and sometimes even that didn't work so often if you're encumbered from carrying too much loot you're just ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and have to drop most of it because you encountered a step on your way that you can't walk around.
Annoying mechanics: as I said before, the game has quite a few very annoying mechanics to make everything unnecessarily complicated and unpleasant to use and it takes a long while to get used to them. For example sword sharpening. I gave up after a few tries and decided I don't need it in my life. And you shouldn't either.
Bow shooting: Okay, I understand no crosshair or a dot in the middle of the screen because "realistic" but this mechanic is VERY annoying to get used to. If no aiming spot wasn't difficult enough as soon as you draw the bow camera is flying left and right making it even more difficult and it very often seemed to jump to the side the millisecond you let go of your mouse button to shoot, making you miss even if you do have a reticle on your screen and before you get to draw a second arrow the enemy is already standing in front of you forcing you to draw the sword anyway. Like, I've shot the bow irl and I know it's difficult and requires a lot of skill but it doesn't change the fact that it's very annoying in the game.
Dog: I know you don't have to take the dog with you and my advice is to order him to stay somewhere in the city and never ever use it again. It draws enemies to you, betrays your position when sneaking, it gets in your way while running because it keeps getting in front of you and making the collision push you to the side or stop entirely every few steps. During the battle it can attack if you level the skill high enough but most often it just gets in the way of your own sword to get hit, to let out a very annoying loud whine and run away from you for few hours because of how bad of a master you are for "beating him".
The last and the worst: combat mechanics. It's almost entirely focused on dueling. It takes time to get used to, it's slow and wonky, after 40 hours I still didn't figure out how sword "combos" work and I only managed to sometimes pull out one of them. Those combat mechanics make sense... EXCLUSIVELY for duels. But guess how many duels I've had during the game? If I exclude the Rattay tournament and the training sessions the number would be 3. After 50 hours in the game. 99.9% of your battles will be you getting ambushed by group of enemies where one would take your entire attention and "steal" the camera to his direction while others would be hitting you with whatever they have on your back, using annoying tackles which is grabbing you from behind, turning you around and hitting you, only for the opponent you were focusing doing exactly the same making you lose entire control over your character because the tackles are impossible to dodge or fight against. Fortunately there are mods that get rid of that but we're talking about the vanilla unchanged game. The combat mechanics is going to make you absolutely everything in your power to avoid any kind of battle. For a game that focuses so much on sword fighting it's almost a deal breaker. I'll be finishing the game exclusively because of the mod that makes fighting possible, otherwise, for me, this game would be unbeatable. Skill issue? Yes. It is. But I'm playing games for fun, not for spending hours to learn overly cumbersome, weird and wonky mechanics to be able to beat the game at all, let alone get good at it.

It's rare for me to pick up a horror game and I gotta say it surprised how fun it is to play. First I've seen some gameplays on certain ad-focused platform that sometimes plays videos in between ads. Then since me and friends were stuck in pandemics decided to try it all together and I gotta say it's super fun.
It's a bit buggy but those are not game-breaking bugs, more like silly physics things that only add to the charm of the game.
Atmosphere is just amazing and even after getting familiar with all game mechanics which makes it a bit less scary it's still fun to play, at least for us

That's a really peaceful and relaxing game. If you just wanna spend some time driving around and enjoying the views then it's a game for you.
Lot's of nice views, big map, getting expanded with DLCs every now and then, highly detailed trucks with addons, tuning and other accessories and plentty of really good mods

The game is pretty fun and introduces many interesting features that were not included in the previous games like establishing your own independence and advancing from era to era. It's really nice although Tropico 4 seems to give you a bit more freedom.
Just like before the game has it's own kind of humor that amuses me a lot. They introduced the form of continuity on the campaign, so you don't have to build your city from the scratch on every mission. It also brings up a problem: if you finish your mission with barely any stability you might end up screwed next time you're on that island so have to be careful. I hate what they did to Penultimo, the voice actor changed and now its not the same silly Penultimo we got to love so much but I guess they had to do that. You gotta do what you gotta do right?

I gotta say... I love this game. I accidentally stumbled upon it and was like "oh this could be fun, why not" and I'm not regretting my decision. The game is full of just the right humor and jokes, gives you absolute freedom to whatever you want, especially if you own all the DLCs. Missions and plot in general are awesome. Some are a bit difficult but there has to be a challenge now and then.
That's definitely on the top of my favourite games.

It's basically a hybrid of Civilisation and Heroes of Might and Magic and that'd all you need to know about that game tbh.
The game sure is quite difficult at times so if someone likes challenge then this game is for you. Resources balancing, army building and exploring with a few interesting aspects to it like drilling through the walls which I haven't seen in previous games of this kind.

Oh and ps. ♥♥♥♥ dwarves. Weak crap

Old style RPG with lot's of idiot traps. Bit hard to get into at the beginning but you can quickly get used to it. The only problem are controls and dumb AI. I'm just hoping Original Sin 2 is better

I know the game is 12 years old but I was expecting more out of it... on the other hand, I knew the game was made by Bugisoft so I don't know why I had any high expectations. One thing for sure, this game, unlike most of games they made is somehow playable so... dunno.
Controls are stiff as hell/
Plot is.. well, nothing extraordinary. It's not boring but nothing that could surprise me. It's like with some TV programs: you don't watch it because it's intersting but because you have nothing else to do.
Be ready for bugs, crashes and getting stuck in walls. Always keep your task manager ready.
Also it's fun how the game can't handle it when you press "Quit" and crashes instead. At least it saves so I guess it's good.
Combat system is stiff but alright, except for some mechanics including backstabbing.

Also this game is the first game that broke before I even started playing it. Few gamefiles decided to commit suicide and disappear forcing me to reinstall it.

Also seeing how the game is using 100% of my disc on task manager is... worrying. As if it was mining cryptocurrency on my system. Weird.

Ps. The game should be about 5-7 hours long. I played it most of the time offline so don't look at my hours counter.