SCUM isn’t your typical survival game—it’s more like being stranded in the woods with a hangover, no pants, and a deep-seated fear of public restrooms. You start with basically nothing, and by “nothing,” I mean you’re literally running around in your tighty-whities wondering why you signed up for this masochistic camping trip from hell.

The first thing you'll notice? This game cares more about your character’s bowel movements than your real-life doctor does. You ever play a game where you have to stop looting a dead body because your guy’s gotta drop a deuce in the middle of the forest? Welcome to SCUM. You’ll be checking your bladder and colon like it’s your new hobby. Forget tactical reloads—this is tactical toilet time.

Then there’s the puppets. These freaks don’t just want to nibble on you; they want to tear you apart like you’re the last piece of toilet paper in a gas station bathroom. One minute you’re enjoying a peaceful stroll through the woods, thinking, “Hey, maybe I’ll finally find some pants,” and the next, you’re running for your life, screaming like a little kid who’s just seen their first horror movie. You better have a weapon, and no, your fists won’t cut it—unless you like being a human chew toy.

And just when you think you’re getting the hang of it, some random player will show up and shove a spear up your backside just for fun. Trust issues? Oh, you’ll have them after this. The PvP in SCUM is like Tinder with guns—swipe right and hope they don’t ghost you with a bullet to the head.

But honestly, that’s what makes SCUM beautiful in its own twisted, depraved way. You’re not just surviving; you’re constantly questioning why you didn’t just go play something chill, like Animal Crossing. But nah, you’re here, knee-deep in puppet guts and somehow having the time of your life while simultaneously wishing for a therapist.

All in all, if you’re into hardcore survival, love tracking your urine output, and enjoy being screwed over by both NPCs and other players, then SCUM is your chaotic dream come true. Just don’t forget to pull your pants up before the puppets pull them down.