I have a list of thing I need to tell you. So shall we start?
1. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
2. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
6. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.