Recent reviews by Saedgiel

I’ve only played Monster Hunter World before this, and I liked it enough to not throw my controller into the drywall. But Wilds? Oh, buddy, this game is like getting a handjob from a robot. "Technically functional", but you can’t help but feel like something’s off.

First off, the optimization is so bad it makes me wonder if the devs were coding this on a toaster while huffing glue. I’ve got a rig that could probably run Crysis on a toaster, and in the benchmark, I was pulling 144 FPS on Ultra with High ray tracing like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wizard. But at launch? Nope, in some areas, I’m lucky if I crack 90 FPS with frame generation turned on. It’s like they took the benchmark, wiped their ass with it, and called it a day. It’s ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that bad.

Now, let’s talk about the story. Or should I say, the snooze fest. It’s just cutscene after cutscene of you following around the most boring group of NPCs since the cast of Twilight. And God forbid you try to explore or pick up anything off the beaten path. The game literally yanks the camera back like a disappointed parent catching you jerking off to anime. “No, no, no, you stay on this boring-ass path, young man!” It’s like they’re actively trying to make you hate fun.

And the difficulty? Oh, sweet Jesus, it’s easier than convincing a coomer to click on a “step-sis stuck” video. In World, hunts could take 15-20 minutes, maybe 30 if it was a big bad boss. But in Wilds? Every monster dies faster than my will to live after a 12-hour hentai binge. These monsters aren’t even trying to hit you, they’re actively missing like they’re drunk on Monster Energy and regret. And then there’s this mount they give you. Oh, you’re gonna love this. It’s like the game thinks you’re too stupid to press a joystick, so it just automatically runs to the objective for you. You can literally hold sprint with one hand, j*rk off with the other, and still make it to the monster. It’s like they’re catering to people who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.

It’s so sad, man. But hey, I’m still gonna play it because I’m a glutton for punishment and a fan of the series. So yeah, that’s Monster Hunter Wilds at launch—a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dumpster fire wrapped in a disappointment burrito.

Alright, buckle up, because *Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot* is like trying to get off to your favorite hentai, but every five seconds, a popup ad for penis enlargement pills slaps you in the face, completely killing the vibe. This game dangles all that juicy DBZ goodness in front of you, promising an epic Saiyan power fantasy, but then it smacks you upside the head with some of the most frustrating, limp-♥♥♥♥♥♥ gameplay I’ve ever seen.

Let’s talk about the combat, which should’ve been a no-brainer for a Dragon Ball game, right? Wrong. Instead of feeling like Goku, the unstoppable force of nature who can yeet planets into oblivion, you’re left feeling like a chump who can’t even slap a fly without getting your hand stuck in hyper armor ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I mean, seriously, when a Saibaman can just shrug off Goku’s Spirit Bomb like it’s a gentle breeze, you know something’s gone terribly wrong. It’s like trying to climax to the best scene in a porno, but every time you’re about to hit that sweet spot, your internet lags, and you’re left staring at a buffering wheel of despair.

The whole game is basically one long, frustrating ♥♥♥♥ tease. You’re dodging, you’re blocking, you’re doing everything but actually fighting because every enemy in this game has more hyper armor than a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tank in *World of Tanks*. You’re just sitting there, controller in hand, waiting for your opponent to finish their 10-minute long special attack animation, and by the time they’re done, you’ve lost all momentum. It’s like trying to edge for hours on end, only to have your phone ring right when you’re about to finish, completely killing the mood. You finally get a window to attack, and what do you get? Maybe three hits in before the enemy decides to start up another one of their invincible, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ attacks that makes you want to chuck your controller out the window.

And don’t even get me started on the grind. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, the grind in this game is more soul-sucking than trying to watch a 24-hour livestream of someone doing ASMR while you’re wide awake at 3 AM. Leveling up feels like you’re pushing a boulder uphill, except the boulder is actually your libido after hours of browsing ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ without finding anything that hits just right. You’re out here collecting orbs and doing side quests that make you question why you’re even playing this game in the first place. It’s like those endless fetch quests are just there to cockblock you from the real action, leaving you more frustrated than a cat in heat with no one to mate with.

But hey, the game’s got some pretty sweet graphics. The visuals are like the hottest camgirl you’ve ever seen, all dolled up and looking fine as hell, but when it comes to actually delivering, it’s as disappointing as a dry handjob. The special effects during the fights are eye-popping, like watching a Kamehameha in full HD—your eyes are loving it, but your soul is crying on the inside because you know the gameplay is about to ruin the mood again. It’s all flash with no follow-through, like getting sent nudes from a supermodel, only to find out they’re all heavily Photoshopped and she doesn’t even text you back.

So yeah, *Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot*? It’s the gaming equivalent of a ♥♥♥♥ tease. It’s got all the potential to be the ultimate Saiyan wet dream, but instead, it leaves you with blue balls and a bitter taste in your mouth. The combat is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of waiting and hyper armor nonsense, the grind is about as enjoyable as having a tooth pulled, and even the sweet graphics can’t save this mess. It’s like a porn parody that takes itself way too seriously—it looks good on the surface, but the moment you start playing, you realize it’s all just one big, frustrating letdown.

Oh man, the Suicide Squad game is the ultimate case of getting catfished by a sexy trailer, only to find out you’ve been lured into a dumpster fire of broken dreams and empty promises. You see that teaser and think, “Hell yeah, I’m about to dive into some gritty, over-the-top chaos with Harley and the gang,” but then you boot it up and realize it’s more like getting hyped for a wild orgy, only to show up and find out it’s just a sad circle jerk with a bunch of dudes who can’t get it up.

First off, the gameplay. It’s supposed to be this badass, open-world mayhem where you’re running around as the worst of the worst, but instead, it’s like they took all the energy of a boner at a funeral and slapped it onto your controller. Every mission feels like a chore, like trying to get off to the same boring porn you’ve seen a million times. There’s no spark, no excitement—just a repetitive grind that makes you feel like you’re jerking off with sandpaper.

And the characters? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, they managed to take some of the most iconic, unhinged personalities and make them about as exciting as a cold shower after a failed hookup. Harley Quinn? She’s supposed to be a wild ride, but in this game, she’s more like a ride that breaks down halfway through and leaves you stranded with nothing but disappointment. Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, King Shark—they’re all there, but it’s like the devs couldn’t figure out how to make them interesting, so they just slapped some generic abilities on them and called it a day. It’s like ordering a premium escort and getting stuck with someone who barely knows how to fake it.

And the story? It’s like they tried to make this epic, emotional journey, but instead, you’re just left wondering if the writers were high on expired Viagra while coming up with this crap. It’s disjointed, uninspired, and more frustrating than trying to finish while your mom’s knocking on your bedroom door. You’re supposed to be the Suicide Squad, but instead, you feel like the “Please Let This Be Over Squad.”

And the worst part? The microtransactions. It’s like they’ve set up a paywall between you and any semblance of fun, turning the whole experience into a glorified cash grab. You want that cool skin? That sick weapon? Better fork over your hard-earned cash, because otherwise, you’re stuck with the gaming equivalent of blue balls.

So yeah, the Suicide Squad game? It’s like getting all hot and bothered for a wild night, only to realize you’ve been duped into the most unsatisfying, limp-♥♥♥♥ experience possible. A total waste of time, and not in the good way.

Street Fighter 6 is an absolute gem in the world of fighting games, and it caters to both newbies and seasoned veterans of the genre with an incredible finesse that deserves to be celebrated. Capcom has truly outdone themselves this time, creating an experience that is not only welcoming but also exhilarating and incredibly fun.

One of the standout features of Street Fighter 6 is its exceptional accessibility for newcomers. As someone who's relatively new to the fighting game scene, I was initially concerned about diving into such a storied franchise. However, Street Fighter 6 made me feel right at home from the get-go. The tutorial system is top-notch, providing comprehensive lessons on the fundamentals of the game, from basic moves to advanced techniques. It's like having a personal sensei guiding you through the intricacies of the game. Whether you're throwing your first fireball or executing a complex combo, the game's tutorials ensure that you understand the mechanics, making it a breeze to get started.

But the welcoming nature of Street Fighter 6 doesn't stop there. The game's hub is an absolute delight. It's an inviting virtual space where players can congregate, customize their characters, and access various game modes seamlessly. It's not just functional; it's also incredibly appealing. Exploring the hub is like stepping into a lively arcade, where you can interact with other players, challenge them to matches, or simply hang out and admire the detailed character customization options.

When it comes to the core gameplay, Street Fighter 6 strikes a perfect balance between simplicity and depth. The controls are intuitive, making it easy for newcomers to execute basic moves and combos. Yet, beneath the surface, there's a wealth of depth for those who want to master the game. It's a fantastic learning curve that keeps you engaged, and as you improve, you'll discover layers of strategy and nuance that add immense replay value to the experience.

In conclusion, Street Fighter 6 is a masterpiece in the fighting game genre. Its welcoming approach to newcomers, enticing hub, accessible gameplay, and engaging arcade mode make it a must-play for both new enthusiasts and longtime fans of the series. Capcom has crafted a game that respects its legacy while embracing a new generation of fighters. Street Fighter 6 is a triumph, and it's time for everyone to step into the ring and experience the magic for themselves.