I'm back

Was wondering down a dark alleyway in India... I forgot how or why I was here the last thing I remembered was going on a roadtrip in South Australia before I stopped by a square looking town on the outskirts. I remember filling up petrol then before everything stopped A man who pronounced himself as "The Minge" grabbed me by the back of the head and whispered "I was waiting for you" ... I took small steps in the darkness, How did I know I was in India? Because I smelled it.. Anyway as I was walking some dude looked up at me with their eerie eyes and bent their head. He was stunned that I was so clean. I was looking for my kidnapper for the next 7 years and I've finally stumbled on this Steam profile.

This man approached me as I was eating a tray of double stuffed Oreos, smacked them out of my hand and handed me as a substitute a tray of Arnotts delta creams. "You don't want that American chemical ♥♥♥♥" he said, spraying me with biscuits from his double-stuffed mouth reaching again into the plastic. +Rep

It's true! I replaced them with legumes.

The other day I went to woollies for a chocolate mudcake for my 3rd wive's birthday. As I was trying to purchase the mudcake through self checkout I notice this man standing next to me weighing some pistachios as cucumbers. I looked at him and he quickly threw all the nuts in his pants and ran away. The security lady managed to tackle him down to the ground and look for his nuts, after looking around in his pants for 5 minutes she couldn't believe it but the man had no nuts.

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