TheCoetzee's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2020 @ 6:46pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 6:25am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 11:52am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 4:53am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 7:06am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2020 @ 5:02pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2020 @ 5:43pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 6:08am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 7:03am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 7:46am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 11:17am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 12:34pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2020 @ 12:47pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 4:46am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 2:42am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 2:13pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 2:28pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 5:19am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 7:00am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 4:45am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2020 @ 4:10pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 1:30pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2020 @ 6:15pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2020 @ 12:50pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 4:43am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 11:11am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 12:37pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2020 @ 3:58am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 7:02am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 12:21pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 1:16pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 4:28am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 6:28am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2020 @ 5:04pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 12:19pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 6:36am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 5:10am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2020 @ 6:26pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 6:28am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 12:23pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 12:45pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 12:23pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 1:28pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2020 @ 12:33pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2020 @ 6:36pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 12:37pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2020 @ 3:26am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2020 @ 11:20am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2020 @ 3:01pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2020 @ 1:06pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 3 Jul, 2020 @ 2:51am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 29 Jun, 2020 @ 4:11pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2020 @ 5:46am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2020 @ 2:16pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2020 @ 5:45am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2020 @ 2:06pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

6 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

14 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

23 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30