I am a world class submarine racer and renowned french chef. I was Knighted at age 7 and became heir to the English throne when I was only 11 years old. I obtained my own cooking show when I was 13 and by the age of 15 I was awarded the Queen’s cross for ‘most likely to succeed in life’. I built my first college when I was 18 and I conquered India in just four hours. I've jumped the English channel and kissed seven members of the executive branch of the US Government. I invented the triangle and golf. I also inspired the invention of the telephone, the sandwich, and I've written seven operas. I've been on the cover of Time's magazine, twice. I'm fluent in over fifteen languages including Luxembourgish. I hold the most Olympic gold medals in poetry. At night I do budget reports for Google and the Dominican Republic.