Recensioni recenti di Talis

mi sono scagasbragato i pantaloni, al mio amico gli si sono sbrugnolate le palle, il mio altro amico s'è cacashortato addosso. Ho installato la mod per il vr e mi è crollato il pavimento di casa

10/10, mi hanno rubato il vr le cimici accumulatrici

The story of how I bought, and how you can buy, a 50 euro powerpoint presentation:
Right from the main menu, a 2d collection of interactive buttons, the game demonstrates all that it has to do with your PC, which is about 10 to 20 FPS if you are lucky.
Once you have moved your mouse to a position where you think will move the cursor up to "New Game", you can go to your kitchen, make some tea, drink said tea with biscuits, watch the news and throw a ball at your neighbor's dog and you would still have some time before the cursor even made it to the button you wanted to press.
Once all is said and done and you are ready to start a new game (Mind that in the meantime you have found a girlfriend, happily married and will now have to take the two kids to school), you can use the time, while taking timmy and tommy to the elementary school some kilometers away from your house to let the game think about loading the map you want and render it properly.
And once what said above is out of the way, you can place your first road. You do actually, or try to, while your arthritic fingers beg for you to stop moving a mouse so heavy for such an elderly man.
Then the game crashes.
Yup, the game crashes, not even an autosave because the game has the conception of time like on Miller's planet from Interstellar, not even 5 minutes have passed in game, but you have placed a road down just in time for your funeral.

Now for you, dear Paradox Interactive/Colossal Order Ltd.:
We are all angry, we have bombed your reviews because right now it's the only way you can understand, some of the players have refunded the game too. Try to blame the reviews as "trolls" or "haters", there will still be youtube where we can show people what kind of stuttering documentary of a game you have produced, a sad barren field with nothing in it but the tears of those who also were the ones saying "It's early access so it must be lagging in the previews" under your comments.
I don't even have words to express my disappointment because I did expect to be disappointed, but you've successfully surpassed my expectations: Congratulations, you succeded atleast in doing something.

And for you, the reader:
Want for the game to be better? Don't buy it, boycott the hell out of them... hell, don't even buy Hearts of Iron or Europa Universalis at this point. Because otherwise it's going to be the same stuff over and over.

I'll rewrite this review once things get better but until then, it's a big no from me.

P O R C A P U T T A N A H A V E Y O U B E E N D R I N K I N G T H E V I N O?

Non ho mai recensito un gioco della serie Hitman, lo faccio giusto per esprimere un parere personale riguardo al capolavoro che è, in vista degli steam awards.
Non ha bisogno di una recensione, semplicemente.

Hitman 3 è il terzo e ultimo capitolo della World of Assassination Trilogy creato dalla IO Interactive, riprende la storia dove i giocatori l'hanno lasciata con Hitman 2, senza stacchi di tempo non spiegati o dettagli lasciati ad intendere.
La costante è fuggita dalla prigionia di 47 e della Burnwood, ora sta a noi, nei panni di 47, di riprenderlo e mettere la parola "fine" una volta per tutte alla storia iniziata a Parigi qualche anno fa.
Per la prima volta nella WOA Trilogy, e nell'interità della serie Hitman, la IOI fa sia da editore che da sviluppatore (Non lasciatevi ingannare da Steam: HITMAN è stato pubblicato dalla Square Enix e HITMAN 2 dalla Warner Brothers Interactive Entertainment), visto l'enorme successo degli ultimi due giochi, questo gli ha permesso di avere "carta bianca" sullo sviluppo del gioco stesso... portando numerosi cambiamenti stilistici e tecnici, creando un capolavoro.
Sul gioco stesso assolutamente nulla da dire, di bug visibili, game breaking o fastidiosi è quasi impossibile incontrarne. Il gioco offre inoltre una vasta moddabilità, con una community che ha portato vari tipi di mod grafiche e di gameplay all'interno del gioco (su siti terzi, non steam).
L'unica pecca che mi viene da far notare è l'implementazione del sistema online, praticamente uguale ai due giochi antecedenti, che non permette il progresso e l'utilizzo di certi "extra" (starting location, armi, altro) all'interno del gioco se non si è connessi a internet. Va benissimo il fatto di dover implementare un sistema contro la pirateria, ma così si vanno a punire anche giocatori occasionali che, giocando su un portatile, è possibile non abbiano una connessione a internet stabile.

Grafica : 10/10
Giocabilità: 9/10
Supporto giocatori alle prime armi: 10/10, il freeform training è disponibile prima di iniziare il gioco come in HITMAN e HITMAN 2 (Saltabile, menomale)

I'll share my story of how I met a beautiful game and strangely enough don't have enough time to play
-- Day 1
>Buy the game
>Enter on the most popular server
>Spawn in a train station
>There's a guy who is throwing some kind of paper sheet everywhere
>Literally 40 copies around the entire train station
>Rushes to the train and gets stuck under it
>Hear him screaming for help
>Don't help
>First station I get off with 3 people
>1 of them jumps off the station which is 5 meters in the air
>Hear a crunch
>He's dead
>Other guy frontflips down the stairs
>Tells me he broke most of his bones yet he's still standing
>Get a car
>Run over him
>Go to this company (Which I later find out to be called Pentacom)
>Open door
>Money and guns on the floor
>Two disks in the PC's
>A guy comes in asking if anyone's home
>"Yeah"
>Instantly becomes Manager after the previous one apparently left the server
>Since it's my first time playing he makes me learn the basics and all of that
>Day 1 learn the basics, say goodbye and turn off the pc

--Day 2
>Enter the game
>Get on the train and drive to Pentacom
>Meet the same guy
>He recognizes me
>We do business
>We hire some other people
>They get killed here and there
>Still business
>Day 2 completed, nothing much

--Day 3
>Enter the server
>Drive to Pentacom
>Meet the same guy
>Have only time for one disk
>I leave
>I come back later
>I get geared up
>As it's getting late at night we do one last mission
>Somebody stole our car
>I follow the boss and another guy to the dealership, while walking on the side of the road
>Hear a car
>Turn
>Die instantly as it runs over my face while 4 Non-Employed guys laugh and insult what remains of my body

-- Day 4
>Go to Pentacom
>Find no one
>Die in a random shooting
>Two guys tell me Goldmen has a corrupt manager
>They invite me to get in the car and basically assassinate the entirety of that company
>Countmein.jpg
>We drive around for 20 minutes while we find 3 other guys
>Rush into Goldmen's building
>Kill everyone on sight
>Kill this orange afro guy
>He was the manager
>We get hired by the new boss (One of the guys in the car)
>Get the phone for a quick call
>Call Pentacom
>"Yeah?"
>"Is Sr. there?" (Sr. was the boss on day 1)
>"Who the f### are you?"
>"Talis, is Sr. there?"
>"Who the hell are you supposed to be, also no, there's no Sr. here"
>"Alright thanks"
>Eventually have a shootout with them and die painfully on the sidewalk
>Turn off and never come back

10/10 Pentacom FTW Goldmen sucks

Boarding on the "tell-a-tale" train just because moments like these can't be documented via video, so here we go

>Be me
>With a friend
>Enter a server
>Spectating, see the sub is dead
>4 people repairing it, two of them are low on health
>Respawnsub.mp4
>10 people spawn in, including me and my friend
>See on the back of the respawn sub the captain is held at gunpoint by some guy named "Kronk"
>Kronk obliterates the captain's face
yeah I'm not going to question kronk's decision
>We eventually get to the sub
>Book it out of the respawn shuttle as it was not docked and the time was running low
>Eventually get on the sub and start repairing
>While in the reactor room, see a clown come in
>"What are you doing here?" I ask
>"Don't worry"
>He attaches something to the reactor
>Hear something muffled, can't comprehend
>He wips out a grenade
>The reactor explodes
>Only one guy on a sub half full of water
>Second respawn shuttle
>Kronk crashes the shuttle 500 Meters away from the sub
>Me and 4 other people (out of the 13 people that were on the respawn shuttle) book it out of there and successfully arrive to the sub
>I start repairing again
>Third respawn shuttle
>Hear over comms the captain screaming
>Again over comms, Kronk: "I AM GOING TO KILL EVERYONE ON THE SUB"
>what.jpg
>The shuttle eventually arrives
>We die after someone makes another hole in the sub, getting even more water in
>The sub's reactor dies
>The survivors get mauled by hammerheads and whatnot

10/10

Publisher: Aerosoft
'Nuff said
Seriously though

The Unity engine is a widely-spread game engine that today is more likely to be used by game studios rather than doing one themselves (Goodbye golden age where people did Engines themselves,Goodbye Source), It's MAJOR defect is that it doesn't take/prioritize memory on the GPU,but pretends a powerful CPU (why does it have to be this retarded,we still don't have a clue).

I will never get tired of saying that Unity is a bad engine,we need a better engine , this game, together with Cities:Skylines, is the demonstration that this engine is holding back games where there is potential,but we can't have it.
Fernbus Simulator is a game I personally looked up to prior to its announcement back in 2015 (Then bought on release),It DOES have bugs, which the developers proceeded to say that they were "going to be fixed",the situation then evolved into the release of their "New" coach simulator this very year,which uses the same engine and the same mechanics (talk about learning from your errors).
That being said,lemme just do a list so you,the reader,can decide if to waste your good 30 Euros on this.

• High quality environment,since the usedom update made the overall scenery even better (and also for free)
  
• Realistic in terms of handling,good simulation of the job of a Flixbus driver
  
• Huge Map,together with the Switzerland and Austria expansion (Paid tho,see cons)
  
• Workshop support

(That's about it with the pros)

• Overused and buggy game engine (Dammit,Unity)
  
• The "Map Loading" Is a lie,loading takes place while you drive,thus the excruciating amount of lag (Plot loading,hell)
  
• Paid addons,too many and too expensive (I'm not spending 15 euros for a double decker bus,get it on sale)
  
• Too much expensive for a game of this quality
  
• Support dropped in favour of a game identical to this,but in Spain
  
• the radio DLC,you pay to put your own songs in the game,thing that ETS2 did for free
  
• Pain-in-the- ass state-of-the-art workshop template to do a custom paint for the bus
  
• Way too much lag,you get between 30-40 FPS on a good PC with the latest components (Tested)
  
• 5-15 minutes loading time,GTA V takes a 1/5 of that time to load the entire map

Choice is yours,If you want to get something as bad as this,but WITH support,get Tourist Bus Simulator,since they moved everything there.

Please,don't suffer the same pain I did

Join a club,meet 4 wonderful girls,and eventually get to know more Yuri.
But you will always that...
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Load her.

Kerbal Space Program,Bel Gioco,devo ammetterlo...

Sicuramente devi sapere alcune basi dell'astrofisica per iniziare a giocare e ad arrivare come minimo sulla "luna",
il gioco è basato sul gestire e costruire dei razzi a seconda della missione/Obbiettivo,Ad esempio Costruire un razzo per arrivare su "Mun" sembra facile all'inizio,sicuramente, ma, dopo essere partiti con un bel "Liftoff" dovrete Affrontare la gravità Kerbaliana,Entrare in orbita con Kerbin,Iniziare Una procedura di "De-orbitazione" per poi avere un "Encounter" con Mun,Questo dovrà essere fatto con una precisione Massima e un' attenzione da stare svegli la notte a fissare un orologio.
Dopo essere atterrati,dovrete poi "De-Orbitarvi" dalla gravità Munare,per poi Cercare di rientrare Su Kerbin,avendo il minimo delle conseguenze e il massimo di punti ricerca,che,vi serviranno a costruire nuovi razzi e nuovi dispositivi,per potenziare al massimo i punti ricerca,così in un loop,ovviamente se fate modalità campagna ha più un senso.

Grafica : 8/10
Giocabilità: 7/10
Supporto per Niubbi: 1/10 (Qualche tutorial e basta)

(Variato da altre variabili in percentuale)

ROCKET LEAGUE

Mai pensato di fare una recensione su un gioco in cui,praticamente,si gioca a calcio...

Il gioco si basa su delle macchine definite "Rockets" (Razzi) Che cercano di tirare la palla nella porta avversaria,ma ci sono molte alte modalità,per esempio Snowy Day che si basa sull'hockey e Pallacanestro,poi la nuova modalità rissa che è come la modalità principale 3 vs 3 ma con dei "Power Up" che renderanno la giocata più difficile o più facile a seconda delle possibilità.

Grafica : 9/10
Community : 5/10
Giocabilità : 10/10


VOTO FINALE : 9.5/10 (percentuale: 9.6 Variata da altre variabili).