Recent reviews by Ten Year Old Squeaker

Judge: You may proceed Mr. Reed.
Mr. Reed: Respondent calls Kenneth Falk.
Bailiff: Raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?
Mr. Reed: I do! I mean... *points and motions to Mr. Falk*
Mr. Falk: I do.
Mr. Reed: Mr. Falk, do you know my client Samantha Cole?
Mr. Falk: *nods* Yes.
Mr. Reed: Isn't it true that your relationship with my client is entirely platonic? I object your honor!
Judge: *narrows eyes* To yourself?
Mr. Reed: Yeah. But I would like to rephrase the question.
Judge: *Gives Mr. Reed a dismissive wave, signaling him to continue with his line of questioning.*
Mr. Reed: Mr. Falk, would I be accurate if I described your relationship with Mrs. Cole as entirely professional? I object your honor and I move to strike!
Judge: Mr. Reed, I don't know what you're on but you better get to the point and quick.
Mr. Reed: Thank you, your honor. (returning to Mr. Falk) Is your relationship with my client entirely platonic? Not! Is not your relationship with my client... bad baby bad baby. *smacks hands together repeatedly as if spanking a small child* Did you not make a lie? Did you... *makes suggestive gestures*
Judge: Mr. Reed!
Mr. Reed: You played Skyrim Special Edition with her every time you met! Didn't you? Didn't you? Liar!
Lawyer: He's badgering the witness!
Judge: It's his witness.
Mr. Reed: You both razed Solitude, slayed Alduin, built a homestead in Hjaalmarch. You installed a mod that turned all of the friendly NPC's into turkeys! *Gobbles like a turkey repeatedly.*
Mr. Falk: Alright! Alright it's true okay?!? We killed Paarthurnax and set the Dark Brotherhood on fire instead of doing their murderous quest lines! There. Now you happy?
Mr. Reed: *looking defeated* No further questions.

I wish I had never played The Secret of Monkey Island. Why? So that I could enjoy the wonder that this game is with virgin eyes all over again. I remember playing this game when it first came out - I was six years old. The graphics were colorful, and the music captivating. This game single handedly sparked an interest of pirates in me that has never faded. I keep coming back to this game every few years just to relive the story and nostalgia. This game has it all. A bar full of pirates that are partying in full swing, a circus ran by two block head spaghetti clowns, insult sword fighting, a fotune teller, man eating cannibals, an irritating old hermit that stalks you around an island, an antagonist in LeChuck that you'll love to hate, a beautiful love interest in Elaine Marley, and the most important character of all, the dopey, flappable, yet loveable Gorebrush Thriftweed. Wait... sorry. Guybrush Threepwood.

Look behind you - a three headed monkey!

OMG. This game is so freaking sexy. I've played it for 12 hours so far, and my city is so beautiful! Just looking at it makes my nips hard. 10/10.