Imagine having a pump shotgun instead of a ♥♥♥♥ and whenever you want to jack off you have to load it and suddenly one day a person finds you and you are so scared at the moment that you accidentally shot pressured semen pellets to that person and they die because they caught you masturbating with your shotgun ♥♥♥♥

The 👮 Department of 🏠 Homeland 🗽 Security 🚔 has issued a 🅱ruh Moment ⚠ warning 🚧 for the following districts: Ligma, Sugma, 🅱ofa, and Sugondese.

Numerous instances of 🅱ruh moments 🅱eing triggered by 👀 cringe😬 normies 🚽 have ⏰ recently 🕑 occurred across the 🌎 continental 🇺🇸United States🇺🇸. These individuals are 🅱elieved to 🅱e highly 🔫 dangerous 🔪 and should 🚫 not ❌ 🅱e approached. Citizens are instructed to remain inside and 🔒lock their 🚪doors.

Under ❌no⛔ circumstances should any citizen 🙊 say "bruh" in reaction to an action performed 🅱y a cringe😬 normie🚽 and should store the following items in a secure🔒 location: Jahcoins💶, V-bucks💴, Gekyume's foreskin🍆, poop💩 socks, juul💭 pods, ball 🍒 crushers, and dip.

Remain tuned for further instructions.

⚠BRUH⚠...⚠BRUH⚠...⚠BRUH⚠...

With Biden winning it means

The 🤚 end of Racism ✊ in America 🦅

Black Lives ✊ automatically👏 matter again 👥

Corona 🦠 Virus 😷 has been Cured 🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️

The ✋ end of all War ⚠ 🔫

No more 🤔 school shootings by 🤪 crazies 🔫

National 🤷‍♂️ Debt is 😎 Paid off 🤑

Women 😻 will be paid 💲 💹 and ⚖ treated equally 😂🤣

Gay 🤡 people are 🙋‍♀️ equal💥 to regular people 🚶‍♀😤😤

Stonks 📶 are 🧐 🤓 looking 💹 fire 💥 ✔

⚠️WARNING⚠️ ♥♥♥♥ inspection is NOT required at the voting booths!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my ♥♥♥♥ because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!