well

More people have been to Berlin than I have

First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, "10101000101", on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know.
So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you."

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly ♥♥♥ every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.

-rep accuses me of random ♥♥♥♥ i didn' actually do just cause i won't play csgo with him

_____\_____________\____________/____\
|_______|_____________\__________|______|
|_______`._____________|_________|_______:
.\________|____________|_________\|_______|
_\_______|_/_________/__\\\___--___\\_______:
__\______\/_____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|
___\______\_-~___________________~-_\____|
____\______\_________.----------.________\|___|
______\_____\______//_________(_(__>__\___|
_______\___.__C____)_no time_(_(____>__|
_______/\_|___C_____)/__for_\_(_____>__|_/
______/_/\|___C_____)___lube__|__(___>___/__\
_____|___(___C_____)\_ hop in__//___/_/_____\
_____|____\__|_____\\_________//__(__/______|
____|_\____\____)___`----___--'______________|
____|__\______________\_______/__________/_|
____|_____________/____|_____|__\___________|
____|____________|____./______\___\__________|_
___|____________/____..|_______|___\__________|
___|___________/_____..\___/\___/_____|_________|
___|__________/__