I was born in 1866 and i grew up in a Muslim extremist household. I lived through many great wars including the holocaust, the battle of moncrooft and the battle to delete fortnite from the internet for good. Because of it I have severe PTSD from all those diamond swords swinging everywhere, the fire aspect burning through my soul. This causes me to have crippling depression, suicidal thoughts and fantasise about shooting up schools. I watched some serious Anime when I was younger, this held me back tremendously so i only made it into my first year of preschool at the age of 15, where i learned my quick maths. I was taught by the Godlike Ainsley Hariott and he showed me the ways of the legendary and elegant art the common folk call the meat rub. As a teenager I worked as a stripper for Shrek and got molested multiple times. I also own several bleach companies, drink it regularly and consider it as my favorite beverage. Now i just stay at home in Pyongyang with my husband, Pyrocynical, and three kids, these are Stomedy, The Dinkster and Phewdiepie (he’s a bit of a simp). I usually just take care of my husband's memes during the day so they don't get lonely, but i find time to watch at least 4 hardcore pornos a day. My favourite hobbies include nutscaping and getting spitroasted, I also regularly drive around in my Thanos car. I also am a regular abuser of many hardcore drugs, including bleach and smoking tea. In the future I desire to meet Hitler and learn how to solo the kazoo like the legend and my role model: the kazoo kid! But for now I will just have to live with rubbing my meat just like my father and inspiration Ainsley does so nicely while making daily Vine videos!

The highlight of my career was definitely the moment when I met my hot husband Shrek!! I Honestly cannot express how freakin 'kawaii he is in person! Supa kawaii desu! I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I prayed to Shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given, "Shrek is love" I would say; "Shrek is life". When I walked onto Wangfu street, ignoring all of my past fantasies, I looked up and saw him standing there with his swollen green muscles and fat bulge between his legs, his muscles only comparable to shaggy. I yelled over to him to get his attention and as he turned then he turned stars flew around in my head! he looked at me and then he saw how hot I am! he grabbed my hand and winked elegantly. Then pulled me behind a contrabanned shop and started to kiss me!!!!!! OMG!!! HIS TONGUE TASTED LIKE DONKEY! I can still taste it now as I haven't washed my mouth since to keep the almost orgasmic taste! I want him to own my swamp! The only downside of marrying him really was the divorce settlements from his last joint marriage to both Spongebob and Shadow the Hedgehog, as they were asking for daily payments of swag, or for him to tell them the secret of “New Alexandria hospital DJ brute Halo Reach”, as that is the key to both swag and being a pro Gamer.

It's been a while since I've cried but it's not uncommon that i have depressing thoughts about Harambe when i listen to songs such as SAD and Moonlight by XXXTentacion. Due to this, i now try to stay away from millennials and boomers because they just rile me up and i want to tell them to shut up! YES i'm a Trump supporter, i voted for him in every election so far and my biggest dream is for him and Castle in a permanent coalition to make the US go to mars to get rid of trading problems and Mexicans for good, this will also make Castle the one and only sexiest man on the planet which he rightfully deserves as there will no longer be any threat from Ricardo! I believe this is an achievable goal and I won't take no for an answer (P.S. Trump please can you take your restraining order against me away, I promise I'm sane now! Once my deprivation from you got so bad that while I was working at a funeral directors I got super jealous of all the people dying).