;)

“You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.”

“In an ideal world, I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.”

“Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.”

“Why are all these people here? There are too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”

“I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides.”

“In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is “Oh, I broke my leg!” A lion comes and eats you, you’re dead. Well, I’m not dead, I’m the lion, you’re dead!”