Chapter 1: The Counselling Session.

Megan sat the two fighting lovers down. “”Jesus Christ boys, you really do need to settle your differences.”
“How can I when he’s being such a… a… a DIRTY BUM ♥♥♥♥♥!” Duck cried out in anger. Shauns alcoholic aunt Mildred sat in the background with a bottle of Jack in her hand nodding not really knowing what she was nodding to.
”Ex-squeeze me?!” Shaun yelled as he turned to face Duck.His face glowed red with fury and behind his glasses frame you could see a vein start to pulse.
”My client is innocent!” Mildred yelled out as she stood up.
“No Mildred...” said Megan, “That’s your son!” Mildred turns to Shaun and slaps him round the back of the head. “Why the ♥♥♥♥ didn’t you tell me?!”
Duck takes a deep breath and stands up to profess: “Megan the thing is...I have a ♥♥♥♥ fetish.” The timing of his confession was immaculate, for just as he said ‘fetish’ Shaun unleashed a mighty fart which stank out the whole of the room… unfortunately he couldn’t mute his mic as he once did on the couple’s many, many, MANY e-sex sessions. Duck looked down and covered his crotch as the smell of the fart had aroused him.
“Maybe the solution here is to try new things as a couple, explore each other’s interests, see what works well for both of you,” Megan suggested whilst glancing between both the boys, and one to Mildred as she took a swig out of her bottle. Mildred stumbled forward “I reckon it was Colonel Mustard in the dining room with the candlestick”
Suddenly a loud crash occurred and the man himself, Mustard, barged in through the door. “WHO’S RUNNING THEY MOUTH NOW? I’M SICK AND TIRED OF Y’ALL FAKE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ACCUSING ME OF THESE… THESE LIES! Girllllll but seriously you two baby boys needa sort yourselves out for reeeeaaaallll” He pointed at Shaun and Duck and rolled his eyes. “Anyway I’m going back to the office, and for the record, it was that Scarlett ♥♥♥♥♥ periodt” Mustard said before flicking his wig over his shoulder and strutting out the room.
Duck sighed. “I have another confession….the only reason our relationship is still intact is due to my...hidden toilet cams” Shaun looked disgusted as Duck bought up his phone and started showing videos to everyone in the room of Shauns bowels opening. Mildred collapses to the floor from disgust and alcohol overuse.
Megan sighed looking between the two boys. “ I don’t know what to tell you boys. Go home with an open mind… or an open ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I guess”. Shaun stands up after snatching Ducks phone and leaves the office. Duck trails after him taking a quick sniff of the potent air.