As the pixelated chicken of destiny wielded the legendary loot llama in one wing and a potion of suspicious spaghetti in the other, it glitched through the respawn point, triggering an infinite lag loop that summoned the ghost of the final boss you thought you’d defeated last season, only to realize the map was actually the tutorial for a DLC that hasn't been patched since the devs rage-quit coding because an NPC named Potato McLagspike became self-aware and started T-posing over the entire leaderboard with a 9000 ping advantage.