After a few months after we met I developed a crush on you since your voice, energy, and personality had a really unique combination. Nothing super crazy but I had a special appreciation for it and was always intrigued by you since we were so close back then in the good ole overwatch days. And then a couple more years later we matured, started beginning our lives, and I still held a deep respect and appreciation for you so I didn't want to make things weird or disturb the positive energy that we had in our history. but - started liking you a little more since you matched my maturity and became more casual of a person and I started masturbating to you frequently to the point where my balls expanded from ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 8-10 times a night and my ♥♥♥♥ got bigger over time. Really insane and not something i would really say to someone but i figured id wait to tell you until sometime when you were single, something about you is just naturally enamoring

oh you think ya big boi 🙄💪🏼 throwing 3 stacks? 💸💸💸 (bet 😂) imma show you how to ball 🏀 you a mismatch 😵 (what? 🤪) opinionated 🥴🧐 but I’m always spitting 💦💦 straight facts 🗣‼️ (true) throw it back 💅🏽 I might throw this on an 8 track 💿💿

3..2…1….. 👅🎉🎊NEW YEAR NEW ♥♥♥♥!!👅🎉🎊Happy New Year you 😈FESTIVE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! 😈Get ready to POP THAT ♥♥♥♥♥ 😩👄after the CHAMPAGNE! 🍾🍾🍾🥂🥂🥂CONFETTI🎊 ISNT THE ONLY THING RAINING DOWN TONIGHT! 😏💦💦Get ready for BUCKETS OF ♥♥♥,💦💦💦lots OF BIG DADDY ♥♥♥♥♥, 🍆🍆and JUICY COOCHIES. 😩👅The only place you’ll be sitting tonight is on THIS FAT ♥♥♥♥! 😈😈Send this to 10 of your Naughty New Year ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 👩🏻‍🎤👩🏼for 366 days of 2020 ♥♥♥♥! 👀🤙🏻Get 10 back and you’re a GRADE 🅰️CUMSLUT! 😛Get 5 back and you’ll be 🍆♥♥♥♥♥♥ DOWN🍆 ON THE REG! 🎉😋Get none back and you’re ♥♥♥♥♥ will stay dry as a biscuit in 2020! 😨😮☹️🙁

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human ♥♥♥♥♥, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood.

With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ♥♥♥♥. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take ♥♥♥♥ all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

Looking at the two comments below confirms that there is no god.