Comments
約v姝(3pq.cc) 2 Sep @ 7:51pm 
↖🌩️🌪️
Rootner1007 12 Jul @ 11:13pm 
TRUE
The Spider In Your Kitchen 11 Jul @ 12:27am 
Robot ♥♥♥♥♥♥
HEX:PlowMeWesker 12 May @ 6:16pm 
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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE
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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY SKILENTON
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░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌SEND THIS TO 7 PPL OR SKELINTONS WILL EAT YOU
sildenafil 7 Nov, 2023 @ 9:50pm 
:3
The Spider In Your Kitchen 2 Jan, 2023 @ 2:17pm 
vbl..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................x9h...........................yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....................................h*kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk (Dirty says: ?????????????????)
The Spider In Your Kitchen 10 Aug, 2022 @ 1:36pm 
@Rootner1007 yes
Rootner1007 19 Jul, 2022 @ 8:38pm 
@Mallyboo is that because she is physically incapable or mentally incapable
The Spider In Your Kitchen 27 May, 2022 @ 5:06pm 
toast says hello, she can't use the keyboard though:brownchicken:
exij 1 May, 2022 @ 10:44am 
25 minute
Rootner1007 29 Apr, 2022 @ 11:04pm 
how long did it take you to make this exij
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:16am 
Chapter 1
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:16am 
“Welcome home, Kevin.”

Kevin just got home from his softball practice. Ever since he quit college, he’s had way too much free time on his hands, which he tried to spend in an at least somewhat useful fashion. He even thought of getting a job at a nearby Wendy’s, but he soon realized he’s way too lazy for that, especially since he is a billionaire now. “Damn...” - he thought to himself. It all still felt so surreal – one day, he bought an NFT of Winston Churchill smoking a fat doobie for $2.50 as a meme, and a few weeks later, he managed to sell it for $3.2 billion.
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:16am 
His first order of business was to buy a mansion for him and his friends in Texas. Secondly, he proposed to his boyfriend, Rootner1007, with a beautiful diamond ring. He said yes, of course. He didn’t think it would be this difficult to organize a wedding, with so many moving parts and so many things to figure out. But that could wait. For now, he wanted to know who the man standing in the middle of his room was.
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:15am 
“Who the ♥♥♥♥ are you” - said Kevin, eloquently.

“Come on, buddy, don’t you recognize your old pal?” - The mystery man’s voice sounded vaguely familiar, like a pleasant dream from a fortnight ago. Kevin furrowed his gay little brows.



“Tell me who you are or I'll call the police.” - he grunted.



“Woah woah woah, it’s me, Mike a.k.a Chilapox a.k.a Bitboard_Dev”

Kevin’s jaw dropped as realization hit him like a dumpster truck on garbage day.
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:15am 
“Mmmmmaik??” - he yelped, his voice still recovering from his not-so-distant puberty. He blushed – from the embarrassment of his voice crack or perhaps because of his handsome visitor? He couldn’t tell.

“Yes” - replied Mike, his unwashed hair glistening in the rays of sunshine that seeped through the halfway closed blinds.



Kevin couldn’t believe it. His old friend and secret crush, standing in his very room. He couldn’t help but notice his heartbeats’ frequency increase sevenfold. He hoped his blushing wasn’t noticeable, but he also knew that most likely he looked very similar to a fresh, ripe tomato.
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:15am 
“H-how have you been?” - he finally stammered out, realizing he hasn’t said anything in a very uncomfortable amount of time.



“Oh, my family kicked me out from home because they say I posted one too many pictures of my mom getting dressed in my discord servers tagged as “horse update” which is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ because they shouldn’t care because it’s funny but yeah they kicked me out so I hitchhiked over to Texas because I’ve heard that you guys have a house here so I was thinking I should move in but I wanted to ask you first which room can I have but anyways how are you”
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:15am 
Kevin was amazed how much his new nonconsensual roommate could talk in one breath. He would have found it annoying if it was coming from anyone else, but it somehow made Mike even more endearing to him than he already was.

“Well I've been good, I just got back from -”

“I’m an Arch Linux user” - Mike interrupted him, setting a new record for shortest period of time he spent between two bouts of talking about himself by almost 2 whole seconds.
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:15am 
Kevin has been a good boy for a while now. He’s been respectful, kind and attentive to others, to the point that even his friends complimented him on his newfound caring persona. But all that seemed to have been ruined by this one handsome man in his tight-fitting sweatpants, for Kevin felt a sense of pressure building within him. It only took a few seconds for his emotions to bubble out onto the surface and form into a dreadfully annoying comment he’s been so careful to avoid for so long now.

“Okay, but who asked” - he said, in the most casual tone he could muster. It felt good to be a little ♥♥♥♥ again, just for a while. But his satisfaction turned into fear, when he saw Mike’s expression.
exij 20 Apr, 2022 @ 10:15am 
Anger. Pure, unbridled rage clouded it. Tears streamed down his now almost crimson face, as he closed the gap between him and the helpless Mexican in an instant. Kevin braced himself for the beating that was surely about to come, but the rain of blows never started. He opened his eyes to see Mike inches from his face, his hot, cheeto scented breath almost scorching the boy’s skin. “He’s so... handsome” - Kevin thought. And without even thinking about it, he kissed Mike.
exij 2 Mar, 2022 @ 1:45am 
97% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber on a tower about to jump. If you are one of the 3% sitting there with popcorn, Screaming "DO A BACKFLIP" then copy and paste this to all your discord servers
The Spider In Your Kitchen 8 Feb, 2022 @ 4:13pm 
hey hey hey, toast loves you:tabbycat:
frivybela 4 Feb, 2022 @ 12:39pm 
would you really classify it as knowledge?
Rootner1007 25 Jan, 2022 @ 5:07pm 
@frivybela sounds like our good friend Exij is sharing his knowledge with you
The Spider In Your Kitchen 12 Jan, 2022 @ 6:30am 
:tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat::tabbycat:
frivybela 7 Jan, 2022 @ 8:53am 
Hey Rootner,

My friend sent me this not too long ago and I thought I would share:

"I am aiming to become a wizard. After forty years of celibacy you gain arcane powers. So, its not that I cant score any woman I want, it's just i'm gonna be a magic user. 😎"

Have a lovely day my friend :)

-Bela
exij 13 Jun, 2021 @ 5:13am 
WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 ♥♥♥♥♥! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to ♥♥♥ IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that ♥♥♥♥ is to get out? ITS ♥♥♥♥♥♥ HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, ♥♥♥ TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY.

Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.

✠Agnes Tachyon✙🇩🇪 4 Feb, 2019 @ 4:01pm 
Hello and thank you. :)
Joe Bohack hbn.gg 21 Jan, 2019 @ 1:04pm 
Add old friend :D?
Rootner1007 6 Jun, 2017 @ 12:07am 
aw hell yeah
Voltscream 5 Jun, 2017 @ 8:31am 
Your link got removed lol.
Big Back Nick 6 Apr, 2017 @ 11:59am 
Rawr Xd
Gyeembo 17 Feb, 2017 @ 4:01pm 
http://gtm.steamproxy.vip/id/jakoburgers
yer sam. eye dohnt wunt erfff 2 bee distroid az wel1!!!!11
Swankmasta_69 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:31pm 
some pillsbury flaky biscuits split in half as the bun, a baked potato on the side, a tuppleware bowl of cream corn

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH
Rootner1007 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:30pm 
yea BOIII
Swankmasta_69 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:29pm 
holy cheese
Porkchop sliders are the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ greatest
Rootner1007 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:15pm 
Ye boi
Krojo 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:14pm 
Rootner1007 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:13pm 
you know it :gunner:
Krojo 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:13pm 
hitler did do nothing wrong except not wear a helmet
Swankmasta_69 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:13pm 
indubidibly
Rootner1007 2 Feb, 2017 @ 4:08pm 
Only the highest quality
Swankmasta_69 2 Feb, 2017 @ 3:56pm 
also that high quality novakid image.
Swankmasta_69 2 Feb, 2017 @ 3:55pm 
idk, mason is prettah good at teh browlhowlas isn't he, so hes a god among men.
Rootner1007 2 Feb, 2017 @ 3:51pm 
wut
Swankmasta_69 2 Feb, 2017 @ 3:50pm 
alpha you silly, Bobby is a Brawlhalla GOD
Rootner1007 2 Nov, 2016 @ 3:25pm 
http://imgur.com/a/nRw21 "Would you like to achieve perfection?"
Rootner1007 31 Oct, 2016 @ 12:38pm 
Knew it all along
Smogz 30 Oct, 2016 @ 11:16pm 
Rap is gay
Smogz 30 Oct, 2016 @ 11:16pm 
-rap