14
Products
reviewed
56
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Haggan

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Showing 1-10 of 14 entries
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
74.2 hrs on record (73.4 hrs at review time)
Team Fortress 2: A Masterpiece of Mediocrity

So, I finally decided to dive into Team Fortress 2, the game that apparently defines the word "classic." I can confidently say that it’s a truly remarkable waste of time. Let me break down why TF2 is the worst best game ever:

1. Too Many Hats: Seriously, who needs this many hats? I came here to shoot things, not become a digital fashionista. Every time I join a game, it's like a virtual catwalk, and I'm the only one without a clue about haute couture.

2. Characters with Personality Problems: The classes are so stereotypical it's like they were designed by a committee of Saturday morning cartoon writers. The Heavy eats sandwiches mid-battle like he's on a picnic, the Spy can't decide if he's French or just pretentious, and don't get me started on the Pyro. Is he/she/it even human?

3. Graphics from the Stone Age: The game looks like it was made in 2007... oh wait, it was. I guess if you’re into retro, this might be your thing. Personally, I like my explosions in high definition, not in “I think that’s a pixel” definition.

4. Teamwork? What's That?: The name might suggest teamwork is important, but good luck finding anyone actually cooperating. It’s mostly chaos, with everyone running around like headless chickens. It's like trying to herd cats. Very aggressive, heavily armed cats.

5. Voice Lines on Repeat: If I have to hear “I am bulletproof!” one more time, I might just test that theory on myself. The dialogue is fun at first, but quickly becomes the soundtrack to your nightmares.

6. Constant Updates That Change Nothing: Valve keeps releasing updates that are supposed to "improve" the game, but all they do is add more hats. I think they’re secretly hat salesmen disguised as game developers.

7. Achievement Overload: There are so many achievements that I feel like I need a PhD just to understand what I’m supposed to be doing. By the time I figure it out, I’m usually dead.

8. The Community of... Something: The TF2 community is a special breed. It's like a strange family reunion where everyone knows the secret handshake except you. And they’re all too busy arguing about which hat is the best to teach you.

In conclusion, Team Fortress 2 is a unique blend of outdated graphics, chaotic gameplay, and an obsession with headwear. If you enjoy feeling lost, overwhelmed, and slightly underdressed, this is the game for you. Otherwise, maybe just stick to something simpler... like rocket science.
Posted 15 July, 2024. Last edited 15 July, 2024.
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1 person found this review helpful
2.3 hrs on record (1.4 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
Living as a "Slaverian trucker" might initially sound challenging due to concerns about poor road conditions and the threat of robbery by terrorists. Some people might even say its a misery! However, there are many aspects of this lifestyle that can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling, making it far from a life of misery. Here's why:

Adventure and Scenery: The life of a trucker is one of adventure. Traveling through diverse landscapes, from majestic mountains to sprawling plains, allows you to experience the beauty and diversity of Slaveria. Every journey brings a new vista and a fresh perspective, making the road your canvas for discovery.

Community and Camaraderie: Truckers form a close-knit community. The solidarity among truck drivers is strong, with many looking out for each other on the road. This camaraderie creates a sense of belonging and mutual support, turning colleagues into friends and, in many cases, family. The shared experiences and stories build bonds that are hard to find in other professions.

Freedom and Independence: As a trucker, you enjoy a level of freedom and independence that is rare in other jobs. You are your own boss on the road, with the flexibility to manage your time and routes. This autonomy allows you to tailor your work-life balance in a way that suits you best, offering a sense of liberation that is deeply satisfying.

Financial Stability: Trucking can be a lucrative profession. Many truckers earn a good income, which provides financial security and the means to support their families. With the right approach and commitment, trucking can offer a stable and prosperous career path.

Skills and Personal Growth: Being a trucker hones a wide array of skills, from navigation and time management to problem-solving and mechanical knowledge. These skills are valuable not only within the trucking industry but in many other areas of life. The challenges faced on the road build resilience, adaptability, and a strong sense of self-reliance.

Safety and Support Systems: While concerns about poor road conditions and security threats are valid, significant measures are in place to mitigate these risks. Investments in infrastructure are continuously improving road conditions, and robust support systems, including law enforcement and emergency services, are dedicated to ensuring the safety of truckers. Additionally, trucking companies often provide comprehensive training and resources to help drivers navigate these challenges effectively.

Contribution to Society: Truckers play a vital role in the economy by ensuring the timely delivery of goods and services. This sense of purpose and contribution to society is deeply fulfilling. Knowing that your work supports communities and keeps the economy moving adds a layer of meaning to the job.

In conclusion, being a "Slaverian trucker" is far from a life of misery. It offers a unique blend of adventure, community, freedom, financial stability, personal growth, safety measures, and societal contribution. Embracing the road with its challenges and rewards can lead to a rich and fulfilling life, filled with experiences and opportunities that are truly unparalleled.

10/10 buy with caution
Posted 4 July, 2024.
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18 people found this review helpful
3 people found this review funny
1.3 hrs on record
let me traumatised. very good game. i like the part when you cut of your grandmas boobi and drink from it with a straw
Posted 3 July, 2024.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
165.2 hrs on record (23.3 hrs at review time)
fun game brings back memories, a little sad you can't say the nword or talk politics with 35 year old newly divorced drunk dads like back in the days but its still a fun game
Posted 20 June, 2024.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
53.7 hrs on record (11.0 hrs at review time)
köp raft axel
Posted 22 July, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
10.5 hrs on record (6.0 hrs at review time)
tulltaxen John spelade detta under den industriella revolutionen och "skärmdelade" på discord fastnade dirrekt. valde därmed att införskaffa mig detta spel igenom att inbyta mina riksdaler emot denna applikation så här 223 år senare, spelet är 5/10 ganska tråkiga grafiker och långtråkig story men att tulltaxen invigde detta spel för mig gör det till en solklar 10a. tack för mig!
Posted 1 July, 2023. Last edited 1 July, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
127.0 hrs on record (117.8 hrs at review time)
säkerställ en vikt uppgång på 110 % igenom att spela detta spel
Posted 19 June, 2023. Last edited 5 July, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
132.2 hrs on record (20.7 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
Gå in på www.modland.com och ladda ner diverse dieselsnipor för en maximal spelupplevelse samt korvstroganof och lite DÖÖköttkött
Posted 7 May, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
134.0 hrs on record (21.3 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
my car broke down on first start since i forgot oil in the engine! after about 3 hours worth of gameplay i got it running, drove off just to get hit by the train and lose all my progress
Posted 26 March, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
4.4 hrs on record (3.2 hrs at review time)
this is thaiheem bad!
Posted 16 March, 2023.
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Showing 1-10 of 14 entries