Recent reviews by English Teacher

Half-Life: Alyx. Valve made some bold choices here, to marginalize the playerbase by going VR only. I'd like to note here, that I wasn't a big fan of the Half-Life series that I played back in 2007 - I wasn't a fan of horror / jumpscare games at all - but the story was appealing and the gameplay was good.

Jump to 2025 and I've changed my tastes (thank you Hellblade: Senua games) and after playing videogames for 30 years finally got a VR headset. Alyx was going to happen.

This game is FUN. Physics FUN. Gun FUN. Gloves FUN. Enemies FUN. Puzzles FUN. Jeff FUN. Gman FUN. Fun fun FUN!

The only real issue I had was the disconnect between myself and Alyx as a character. After intensly fistpumping in the air once I had FINALLY killed Jeff, breathing heavy and feeling good, Alyx just says: Oh my God, Jeff. Are you okay? [Laughs]

So many parts that I WISH I was Alyx, but alas - I was but a shadow of her courage.

Anyway 10/10 - would Jeff again!

200 hours in planCo 1, Only 6 hours in Planco 2. I think it says enough about the current state of the game.
I'm just not having fun... Not enough assets to start with, DLC's are quick to appear on the store making me feel like a consumer, rather than a creator. It's not a nice feeling.

I'll check back later.

Are you kidding me? Finally a good Tower Defence game that has it all and it's only 10 bucks and still has more to come? Let's go!

Hellblade II is the pinnacle of immersive cinematic gaming experiences. A technically well designed game that sucks you in and keeps you on the edge of the story. Yes, the critiques are warrented: the combat is rather simple, the puzzles repetitive. If this was a puzzle game, or a combat game without the Hellbladian, nordic mythology based grand narrative, this game would not be rated this highly. You don't play this game to fine tune your combat skills or solve puzzles, you play this to escape into the tormented, psychological hell that inhabits the mind and experiences of Senua.

Is it worth the full price? That depends if you're like me and judge the experience on it's quality, rather than it's quantity. A good story drawn out by artificial means is the last thing I want. Tell me a story. Draw me in. Keep me there. Conclude and end where you should. Then I'm a satisfied customer. That's what Hellblade does, and has done very efficiently.

10/10 would trauma again

It's okay I guess

It’s a quarter past ding dong and me and my wingman are approaching the IP after 50 minutes of flight. We used that time to look at the sights (the Caucasus is beautiful at twilight), to talk about life in general and prep our ordinance. We’re low and slow – skimming the contours of the mountains and hills – and everything is serene. Silence is the soundtrack to our war.
Hawg 1-1: “5 mikes out from the IP, ordinance check”
Hawg 1-2: “Roger 1, 6 GBU-12’s prepped – Autolase 8 seconds, CCRP mode. AGM-65D’s aligned and ready”
Hawg 1-1: “Copy that Rooster-toothpaste. Set lase-code 1688”
Hawg 1-2: “1688 copy”
Hawg 1-1: “We’re going to set anchor at waypoint 3, 10 nauticial miles to do some initial recon”
Hawg 1-2: “Roger Railroad-Popsicle. TGP on and ready to mark targets”
Like guinneafowl we smack the altitude-hold autopilot and stick our heads into our TGP (The God Pod) diplays like a bunch of Insta-famous teenagers, scrolling through the landscape, enemy units white-hot on the display, looking for priority targets. BMPs JPGs and some PNGs are all of a lesser significance, we can work on those later.
Hawg 1-2: “I’ve got a dish”
Hawg 1-1: “Lay off the food-related chatter Rooster-toothpaste”
Hawg 1-2: “It’s a radar dish”
Hawg 1-1: “Set SPI (Something! Punish It) that will be our first target”
On my TAD (Totally Awesome Display) I see where Rooty has put a marker for our weaponry. At the same time my RWR (Random Wrrrrrr Radio) starts making this caw-caw-caw sound signalling that something, somewhere has started staring at us with an intense, angry gaze. This must be the radar dish that is currently the focus of all our sensors.
Hawg 1-1: “Get to jamming that signal; time to engage!”
Hawg 1-2: “Rolling. Rolling. Rolling in the river.”
Hawg 1-1: “No Tina Turner! Lock your Maverick and-
It is at this point, I see a trail of white shoot into the sky, an intergalactic signal for “yer cooked now boyo!” and my MWS (Monopoly Winning System) starts flashing like it’s a disco in 1981.
Hawg 1-1: “2 go defensive! Big shafty looking thing on your eehm. I guess that’s like 45 minutes past 2 o’clock?”
Hawg 1-2: “RIFLE! (farting noise) Taking invading maneuvers!”
The chaff confetti is illuminated by the flares spitting from his wings. It’s a radar guided missle, but still we pop flares like it’s 1988 and the Dutch have just won the European cup. Of course I mash the dispenser button on my funstick and follow Rooster-Toothpaste as he swings his hog all over the place.
Hawg 1-2: “Time to target 4 seconds” and I watch the screen of my TGP as it’s fixated on the spinning dish… “Splash!” My RWR immediately shuts up – All clear.
Hawg 1-1: “You mean Sack?”
Hawg 1-2: “Copy that Railroad-Popsicle”
With the Sam’s datalink severed, the BMP’s are first to go, rifling off various Mavericks to their doom, leaving some light trucks and personell to be completely oblitorated by the BRRRRTTttt of our Gaus as we repeatedly bear down on the enemy – lauging manacingly as we pull the trigger. The sun is setting now, reflected beautifully in the lower cloud coverage. Heaps of burning metal and bodies riddle the mountainside as Railroad-Popsicle and Rooster-Toothpaste report that are RTB (Really Terrific Bro’s). Landing safely back at Guduata airbase, we park the Hogs, pop the canopy and enjoy a nice cold beer.

10/10

When it comes to horror games, I always feel we need to distinguish between the cheap “Gotcha!” jumpscare based horror games (Prey for example) and the psychological, atmospheric horror games (INSIDE for example). In the case of Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice, nothing feels cheap. It scares you in a very rational way; by manipulating your mind in a far more composed way than simply having aliens jump out at you with a high pitched whine. It paints the scene with desperately dark graphics, and adds fidelity with a very impressive and well-engineered binaural environment for voice and sound (please you headphones). It will chill you to the bone, frighten you, traumatize you even without ever resorting to cheap jumpscares.

It’s been a long time since I’ve experiences anything as profoundly deep as Hellblade. The gameplay itself is good, although somewhat limiting in some fields, but what takes your mind and soul on a ride is the story and the way it’s told. It’s a story of love, of fear. Of fear of death. Of redemption. Of personal conquest. Conquest over the mind. The mind of Senua; a troubled mind. Ultimately it’s a story of sanity. Yes. I cried at the end.

What Ninja Theory has done, is imagineer a story, thoroughly research the mode of presentation, prepare, create and polish it to what what it has become: a permanent classic in videogame storytelling.

To those on the edge of purchase: It’s not bad for nerves, but I doubt it’s good for your sanity. And I mean this in the best way possible.

10/10

Frontier has delivered us a polished piece of work that will chew up your time if you're not careful. Blink once and you'll miss two hours of your life. But it's worth it. In those two hours, you'll have built whatever it was you wanted to build, or at least part of it. The detail that you can put into each object, each ride, each little light fixture just gives you that euphoric "sigh" feeling many have been looking for Since the RTC days. It becomes so encapsulating you don't want to shut it down, and when you finally do, you're already thinking about what you can build the next time.

The easy-to-learn interface and controls are very approachable and you don't need to be a 3D artist to get started visualizing your ideas. These works are easily saved, copied, pasted and uploaded for others to use/see/comment on. Just look as the amount of user made objects in the Workshop already, knowing that the game is still in its infancy. I mean... WOW!

Designing coasters is no longer a challenge, the interface and engine plays allong with your wishes amazingly well, allowing for many to recreate the coaster they have always dreamt of. And if this is not your cup of tea, there are oodles of plans in the release and on the workshop to click and drop wherever you want.

That being said, there are a couple of things that are less well developed, and they need to be mentioned. Path-making and connecting is sometimes a bit frustrating and doesn't always play along with what you want. If an object is not placable, it's sometimes tricky to find out why. Some awkward clipping is seen when placing objects too close to rides. The management challenges could be expanded more along with more staffing options. I'm sure Frontier have noted that the future will bring more staffing options (Security for example) in the future. Some personal wishes might be fulfilled as well: The ability to make ingame recordings and sharing these with other Planet Coaster users would be a neat addition.

Rounding of this review, a brief summary. Planet Coaster is that Theme Park builder experience for 2016 and onwards. Already the community has delivered on becoming the creative hive mind of the platform, demonstrating the power of the creative environment and inspiring others to make fantastic additions to your toolkit. There are some frustrations and minor misouts that are likely/hopefully fixed through patches and the like. Finally, a note must be said about the soundtrack. Never mind. I can't say anything that would do it justice.