Ultimately, the indifference of life has ate at me and now I realize the depth of the issue, when it feels like no ammount of success will make up for the sunk cost of having been alive for this long.
I will go home, but this hatred will remain the same.
In all fairness part of me roots against myself in hopes that I do not make it. But I will fight the fight anyway. Because I must see. The victory will not mean anything. All that stands is just, always, the same.