Curse you, Dirt Grub! I hereby vow! You will rue this day! Behold, a true Gamer! And I, HEADLESS! Your fear made flesh! Solid of scale you might be, foul gamer … But I will riddle with holes your rotten hide! With a hail of smegma! With every last drop of my being!

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?

♥♥♥♥♥ are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾） and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ: ･ﾟhehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д｀●)・

Hey I found your steam through a mutual and I just wanted to say that I think we could get along real well :) I don't normally do things like this cause I'm a real gentleman :3, but do you want to maybe play a bit of cs sometime (omg I'm so embarrassed) >< I could go on my smurf so you don't have to put in that much effort, even though you're like the best and you'll probably be on top every round. When I see your name I just feel like we have this special connection that I can't describe in words, I think.. maybe we knew each other in a past life xDD like I can do the cooking and everything, you don't have to worry about that cuz I'm a real feminist, but I'll still take care of you <3 I know how to make a woman feel like a girl, but I won't do anything that freaks you out, just say one word and I'll stop so so fast! so maybe just consider me? I can't believe I'm writing this all out to you >< !! Even if you reject me it's all worth it just for you, my wuv <3 (plz don't reject me !!)

apology for poor english
when were you when john lenin dies?
i was sat at home eating smegma butter when pjotr ring
‘john is kill’
‘no’