Recent reviews by 👑 Queen M 👑

First of all, I don't write reviews unless the game is VERY, VERY, BAD! (This is my 2nd review ever written - the 1st being for Torch Cave, which you can find here: http://gtm.steamproxy.vip/id/Queen_M/recommended/501690/ ).

The game is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE.

The only reason I "wanted" to play it was for the 5,000 achievements... and oh, btw, (at the time of writing this review) the achievements DON'T even work - ha! That's right! Not even 1 single achievement will unlock!!!

So, I decided to look in the game's hub / forum, in the HOPE that I will find a solution to get my achievements to unlock (just in case I'm missing something)... and surprise, surprise, what do I get?? The only suggestion was to... "Use SAM to unlock the achievements!"... You gotta be kidding me right??!!

So, of course, the next step was for me to ASK FOR A REFUND.... and yep, surprise, surprise!! Guess what? Turns out I've "played" the game for 4.3 hours (i.e. idled the game for cards for 4.3 hours)... so now I no longer have the ability to refund!!! (I suppose this game was "created" before Valve implemented the new rules for Trading Cards drop, so yayy!! I guess I've lost my customer / refund freedom at this point).

In conclusion, I will NOT RECOMMEND the game to anybody (unless I have dementia of course)!! Please do NOT make the same mistake like I did (either you fall into the trap of "dreaming" of the 5,000 achievements, or getting your money's worth for the trading cards!).. Not worth it.

I repeat, please do NOT buy this game! It is an absolute TRASH.

P.s. I got this game at a big discount (and paid less than 40-50 cents for it), and still!! My advice is = DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!! (p.p.s. if you further consider my credibility - by looking at my Steam level, my games library, my items inventory, etc, etc - in other words... the amount of $$$ I've spent on Steam... Seriously, what's another 40-50 cents for me to spend on another game)... but still! I took the time to leave a review here (imagine how unhappy I am with this particular purchase??! Honestly, it's not about the money for me, but the feeling of being "trapped" into a purchase). Please don't make the same mistake like I did.

DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. Enough said. Bye.

UPDATE: The Developer has now changed the Achievements.

So, my previous 100% is no longer valid (i.e. removed by the Developer), along with the challenging difficulty that was previously needed for the "old" 100% Achievements.

http://gtm.steamproxy.vip/app/501690/discussions/0/1291816880507965170/

ANOTHER UPDATE: I have finally played again & got the "new" 100% achievements... And all I can say is = mehhh (just keep pressing the space bar until you get 100%).... so *thumbs down*

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Anyways, I hope the below (old) review of Torch Cave would still have several valid points for you, so here we go...

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I don't usually write a review, but, for this game, I felt so compelled to write one.

This is one of the most annoying games I've played in my life.

So (if you can't be bothered to read everything I've written, I will sum it up for you here):

Will I recommend this game to anyone? No, absolutely not!

Even if it was on discount / in a bundle / if I could buy it using a 90% coupon, I still won't buy it (if only I could turn back time).

Some people might purchase this game for the trading cards (drops / farming), okay, that's fine (as long as you don't care about achievements at all).

But, if you are anything like me (i.e. you are a pretty hardcore Achievement-Hunter), then prepare for the worst!

Yup, this (platformer) game is even more annoying / frustrating than Just Hero or Job the Leprechaun - imagine that!

Sure (just like me, falling into this trap), you might say / think that you've checked it out on AStats first (and saw that it will only take you a few hours at most to get your 100% achievements). Well, you've been warned! (Good luck! This game was a waste of my time and my mental health, not to mention my strained neck and wrist). Just don't break your keyboard / mouse out of frustration.

Now, let's get down to the "Why".

There are so many things wrong with this game - I don't even know where to start! But here's a few worth mentioning:

- The controls are so unbelievably horrible. And I repeat... Horrible!

- In the game, you get this annoying "hooking" equipment, where you're supposed to "hook" from walls to walls (like Spiderman... almost!), only the hook doesn't actually hook most of the time, so you end up falling off the cliff / wall.

- You can double-jump by pressing the spacebar twice, but 20 - 30% of the time you will fail even if you pressed the spacebar twice.

- The background music (especially if you are a musically-talented person like myself)... gosh...!! You can hear the drums looping and overlapping (out of sync) with another music or something that sounds like music (or God knows what?!)... You just keep hearing it overrrr and overrrr again, until you want to shoot yourself in the head.

- The graphics are mediocre at best.

If the above doesn't give you enough frustration as it is, fear not! Once you progress a little further in the game, you will encounter several new objects and/or functions (such as falling floors, ghost / invisible floors, moving books, rolling stones, shaky screen, weapons and enemies, etc).

If you don't already know the difference between a game that is "super-challenging" and a game that is "outright frustrating", well at least you'll learn / get something out of this game. (Please forgive my dry sense of humour, or my sarcasm rather - I just obtained my 100% achievements, and my head is just about to explode).

Anyways, if, after reading my review, you still want to buy this game, for whatever reason, or if you have already bought it a long time ago (like myself), then the very best of luck to you my fellow-gamer(s). You've been warned!

Best regards,
Queen M