Hoping to get 🍀LUCKY🍀 this 🐢St. Patrick's Day?🍀? Want someone to rub you for luck🔮? ✳️Maybe put their🐍 shamrock🍀shake in your pot of gold?✳️ I sent this to you because🐸 you're🌵 one of my 🌳LUCKIEST 🌱 friends!!!!!!!!

Send this🔋 to TEN of 🈯️your SLUTTIEST LUCKY friends this📗 St. Patrick's Day🍏. You know,🍃 the ones 💚that are big sluts but✅are lucky enough 🐲not to catch an STD!!!!!!❇️ If you don't🌴 send 💹this ♻️around to 🐊10 friends you'll have BAD LUCK and contract❎ AIDS in the 🌲next 24 hours!😈 I BETTER get one 🌿back!🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

🛠️👷‍♂️🔥HAPPY LABOR DAY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🔥👷‍♀️🛠️! The only thing getting WORKED HARDER 💦💦 than you this holiday is America’s sweaty 🍑🍑 labor force 💪🏾🛠️, so get ready to celebrate 🍻😏! You better be prepared to clock in ⏰ and punch that timecard right in the 🍑🍑, because Big Boss Daddy 👔🍆 is coming to inspect your tight little workstation 😈🔍. Don’t forget to spread those legs 🍗 like you’re on your lunch break 🥪🍔 and handle that hot, throbbing drill 🍆🔧💦.

‼️ATTENTION‼️ 💀👻ALL HALLOWEEN🎃🕸 HOES😙💅 ITS TIME TO GET ☠️SPOOKY💀 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS👏 GET 👊FISTED👊 BY A 💀SKELETON 💀SHOVE✊🍭 CANDY 🌽🌽CORN🍬 IN YOUR👉♥♥♥♥♥😽 AND 🙅DONT🙅‍♂️ FORGET TO SUCK😩🙌 SOME 💏DRACULA💉 ♥♥♥♥🍆💦😫 SO PUT 🔛 YOUR 👗👑COSTUMES👘👒 AND GO 🚪DOOR TO DOOR🚪 👀👅💦BEGGING😩 FOR THAT 😍GOOD GOOD😍 SEND THIS TO TWELVE1️⃣2️⃣ ☠️SPOOKY👻 🍑SLUTS🌮 TO 👁SHOW💁 THAT YOURE READY TO GET SOME 🍫CHOCOLATE🍫 COVERED 🍆♥♥♥♥🌽

I showed my gf videos of animals going goblin mode because it’s one of the best meme types. They just start running around and go nuts. We have a dom/sub relationship with me being dom. Awhile ago we were getting down and I start choking her and told her “I want you to go goblin mode on this ♥♥♥♥”. I swear I could pinpoint the exact moment all of the moisture left her body. She asked me to stop so I did. She left the room and locked herself in the bathroom to “question her life choices” and now things are awkward. We haven’t had sex in weeks. She ignores the memes I send her. The last thing she said was the internet isn’t real life and she’s having a hard time finding me sexy anymore. I don’t know how I can recover from this.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

I’m so sick of all these people that tho k they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.

Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.

Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.

i heard u like to rawdog bob evans rolls in bed