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Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

"What happened to the American Dream?" It came true! You're lookin' at it...

"Justice is coming to all of us, no matter what the ♥♥♥♥ we do. You know, mankind's been trying to kill each other off since the beginning of time. Now, we finally have the power to finish the job. Ain't nothing gonna matter once those nukes start flying; we'll all be dust. And Ozymandias here will be the smartest man on the cinder. "

"Soon there will be war. Millions will burn. Millions will perish in sickness and misery. Why does one death matter against so many? Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution ... and there is so little time."