Today 🗓️👈 is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Fourteenth 🙇‍♂️😳❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 and that means its Saint 😇🙏 ValenTAINTs 🍑👈🥵 Day 🌞💞🌺🥰😍😏😏🤪 Whether ur 🤔 Taken Bacon 👯🍑🥓😘 or a Single Pringle 🧍😫😧😱🤯 cuz all year long 📅👀 Cupids been ✊⬆️ YANKING ✊⬇️😩 on his Bow 🏹🍆😫 n he’s finally 😮‍💨 ready 😳 to SHOOT 🎯👅👅👅 his 💓 Love Magic ✨💦😋 ALLLLLL over u 🏹🍑🎯🤤👅😉 HURRY 😰🏃 and fill 😋🍬👌 ur pretty 😍 lil box 🎁✨ with plenty of COCKlates 🍫🍆😜 cuz u know what they say 👴💬🤔 U never know who ur gonna get 😏🥳🍆💛💚🌷💖💝💐💌SEND📲 to 🔟 of ur most beloved 🥰 Valentines Vags 🌷👯💦 so they kno 💭 just how much 👬🤗 u wanna smooch em 💋👯🥰🥰💛💚🌷💖💝

IT’S OUR 🇺🇸NATION’S 🇺🇸 BIRTHDAY 🎊🎉🎉 PATRI-SLUTS😋😋😩 AND IT HAS A BIIIG 😉💯🍆👅 PRESENT FOR YOU!!1! OUR DADDY 👨👀🍆💦 UNCLE SAM 🔥🔥🔥WANTS YoU😘😩🎊😏! HE’s BRINGING his STAR 🌟✨⭐️SPANGLED 💥⚡️🔥BONER 🙇😯🎉😩😩 TO GIVE YOU FREE🅱️OM TO HOE‼️ BUTT😉 that’s not ALL. HE’S gonna launch his rocket 🚀😩😋 into your HO(m)E OF THE BRAVE🍑🍑🍑 and EXPLODE✨💥😩 in your SPACIOUS SKIES👉👌👌👌. IF YOUve DECLARED your HOEDEPENDENCE 😩👉👌🇺🇸 DADDY will eat that ASS😩😋 like apple 🍎 pie 😋🇺🇸👌💯. iF yoUVE been a COMMIE 😡😤👺🖕❌❌ NO FREEDOM CUMMIES FOR U! 😣🍆💦💦❌🙅😔😔 send this to 2️⃣5️⃣ SONS of LIBERTITTY 👦👦🔥💦😜 & you’ll get Daddy SAMs’ MEGA THICC PATRIODICK‼️😜😜🔥🔥🍆💦💦🎉🎁💦😩😩😍

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY MY DELCIOUS 👅💦 DADDIES!!😉😛 Today we honor the man👨🏻 who 🍆🍑💦banged yo mama👩🏻 to make a little ♥♥♥♥♥😋 Get ready to scream “harder daddy"🍆 all night long and swallow💦💦👅 because without sperm you wouldn’t be here 😏😏😏❤️💦 Tell 🔟 of your thotty thot friends 👯👯 to get down and dirty😜 with they daddies👄 for an unforgettable ♥♥♥♥ night🍆😩 and your favorite celebrity crush❤️ will FaceTime 😍😛 you tomorrow 💑👫

Alright, ECLIPSE 🌑☀️ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 😩😩 time to put that proper PROTECTION 💦💦 on and see 👁️ that BARE MOON 🍑🍑 ♥♥♥ 🥵 out and ♥♥♥♥ 🍆 BLOCK us from big daddy 🥴 sun. 😫🌞🌞 Bout to be EDGED 😜 with a partial 🤏🏼😏 until we hit that CLIMAX 💥🤯😫 and TOTALITY 🌚 BUST 💧💧with pleasure 🤤🤤 Get ready to GOON OUT 🤪 with your eclipse baddies 👯‍♀️ at our moon THROWING IT 🔙 for us 😍😍😩

ET TU, BOOTAY⁉️⁉️ The RIDES 💯💯💯 👀👀👀 of March 📅📅 has ♥♥♥ 💦💦💦💦👉👌 get ready to roman BUST A NUT‼️‼️ 💥💥🌰🌰🌰 Best wishes to all you SENATE SLUTS 👅🌽👅🌽 doesn't matter if you're a plebeian 🏚🏚🏚💸💸 or ♥♥♥♥♥trician 😼😼😼🤑🤑🤑 because DADDY 👅👨👅👨 Brutus is the DICKtator 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 we all deserve 👄👄 just like juliASS 🍑😩🍑😩🍑 caesar we're gonna get stabbed 🔪 🍌🔪🍌 2️⃣3️⃣ times in the BACK 🌽🌽🌽🍑🍑🍑 tonight. send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your BEST 😏😏😏 Senate Sluts 🏛🏛🏛👉👌get 5️⃣ back and you're a BACK 🍑🍑 STABBER 🔪🌽🔪🌽🔪 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and you're a citizen of the roman repubLICK 👅👄👅👄👅 get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you're a glaDICKator 🍌🍌🍆🍆🏟🏟🏟

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA PERSON THAT KILLED U!
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WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER