Recent reviews by Ratatouille

Prince of Bop It! Twist it! ♥♥♥♥ it!
Ubisoft aims to expand their DEI customer base by giving everybody arthritis.

Map is node based in a chain pattern(∞∞). With 4 bonfires each to fast travel back to. And half of it is blue filter caveshit.
Fortunate(or unfortunate) enough to nope out of rock area and play-through(as much as they let me) the 2 leftmost nodes and was pleasantly surprised with the set pieces. One of them being this blight-infested shipyard, Boomer Bile filter.
The other a Sandy-castle with poppies all over. Pis- actually, it's just colorful. Harkening back to better times.

Fittingly, the 2 rightmost stone-slab nodes are tedious in design and gameplay.
Including bonfire placements that force you to traverse the longest and least engaging platforming chunks in the entire game, each time you fast travel to them.
And you'll have to slog through, because metroidvania-esque obstacle course 'traversal options' are locked in the annals of the game. Further pad out backtracking to progress in it's better areas.
Bop it!(2008) is epitome of padding. It could've easily been half as long to a couple hours long and still be the same game.

Quick-time windows are so generous that it might've as well auto-complete, instead of stress testing your peripherals.
What's not so generous are the metroidvania abilities. 2 are just more single button presses..
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Oh boy. Guess where these next 2 'abilities' are introduced..
Blue filter node ability is a Superman64 guessing game.
Camera angles make no sense and things either become visible too late or never at all. It isn't even a trial & error memory game at that point.

You find yourself bashing your head against this for upwards of 15 minutes in node 3. Seeing an amusing comment, about how it reminded them of The Neverending Story flying on top of Falkor. Why, you oughtta appreciate this level of ignorance.

The Subway Surfer variant is less egregious. There will be some insane things like a tiny crack in the floor that resets back to the beginning but it's quicker to figure out than 360 angles in the flying portions.
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During platforming, it's generally a good idea to quickly smack the portal which pops out enemies so they don't come out altogether or quickly platform past them if possible.

Combat is, once again, quick-time and very much a 'one type of enemy' deal. Choreographed as a flashy anime tug of war with unique animations for each combo press but you'll have more than plenty of chances to see them all.

A little extra for Bosses.. They'll have a rock-paper-scissors element, when matched incorrectly restoring their health almost entirely.
On-top of it all, button mashing to the x-treme! No seriously, lower the frame-rate or something? Or get one-shot by the last boss 10 times.
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Story is spliced rehash of previous games with disjointed dialogue. Characters not only talk like they're in different rooms but also are not even on the same topic.

They should've grabbed this game's aesthetics and slapped em on top of The Forgotten Sands nothing burger movie tie-in game that has nothing to do with the movie and came out with a nothing burger that at least looked decent.

State of Doing garbage MMO farming quests over and over 2 do more garbage MMO farming quest. Jugglenuts Edition

Good to be broke. It would suck to get drained of all your pocket change and become broke.
Insane input delay and slowdowns btw.

Crazy Taxi update when?

Burning bag'o'dogdoo at the doorstep I dance on.

It's notes of Roadside Picnic (Stalker), Scottish folk-lore and Molchat Doma.
Starring Willem Dafoe from The Lighthouse, as every character.
Sending you out on rudimentary fetch quests to provoke your curiosity towards exploration.
There isn't much of a story as there is world building and a collection of atmospheric attractions.

Unreal Quapex is what happens when you take the train out of BABBDI

The type of thing Manager would make you play. A Corporate Ploy.

You're the briefcase from Paratopic and there's gameplay

That one mf who baits you into a High-Five and pulls away
The friend you drive around like a soccer mom without so much as a thank you

Left to Hang Type Game