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Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Pippy
Looking so down in the dumps
Everyone here'd love to be you, Pippy
Even when taking your lumps
There's no girl on steam as admired as you
You're everyone's favourite "guy"
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Pippy
No one's quick as Pippy
No one's ♥♥♥♥'s as incredibly thick as Pippy's
For there's no one on steam half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Mick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
Who breaks hearts like Pippy?
Who beats tarts like Pippy?
Who's much more than the sum of her parts like Pippy?
My what a girl, that Pippy!