Some people hack around a golf course for fun. I don’t. I play to win, to dominate, and to prove—yet again—that I’m simply better than the rest. If you’re not a scratch golfer or at least flirting with a + handicap, we probably won’t get along. I don’t waste my time with high handicappers who think a lucky birdie makes up for a round full of doubles. If you’re the type who “just enjoys being out there,” do us both a favor and stay out of my tee time.

I play on exclusive courses, the kind you don’t get into unless your game—and your wallet—are in top form. I don’t chase pars; I chase perfection. And, if I’m being honest, I also have a habit of chasing certain other things, too. Let’s just say my ability to read greens is only rivaled by my ability to read the bored expressions of wives stuck in miserable marriages. If you think loyalty is a virtue, you clearly don’t understand the game—or life.

I surround myself with winners, both on and off the course. If you can’t keep up, don’t bother.