Quotes I live by

The main one as its just me being awesome
“If being awesome was a crime, I would be serving a life sentence.”

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read"
“Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”
“My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.”
“My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.”
“I started the week with a big box of patience. The box is empty now.”
“I can only please one person a day. today isn’t your day. tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
“Knock knock who’s there? a broken pencil. a broken pencil who? never mind it’s pointless.”
“If you don’t understand my silence how will you understand my words?”
“Old people at weddings always poke me and say you’re next so I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”
“I am responsible for what I say but I’m not responsible for what you understand.”
“No matter how smart you are, you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.”
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Nelson Mandela