You will never be as schizophrenic as me.
Nothing you chumps do will ever compare to my form of schizophrenia. You see "shadow people" on the daily? Tch, please. I've known them by name since I was a child. You think your government is out to get you in specific? They've been at me since I was born, and I've just accepted it. You hear voices in your head that tell you what to do? I am the voices, ♥♥♥♥♥. You spend all your time preparing for the apocalypse, and waiting for that inevitable cataclysmic demise? Man the ♥♥♥♥ up. The world ended the second I came out of the womb. None of you will ever be as schizophrenic as me, I am the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ king of schizophrenia. All of you are impostors; pathetic peasants, flaunting your "schizo-posting" as though it were a medal of honor, yet none of you will ever come close to my level of neuroticism. Face the music, kid. You will never be as schizophrenic as me.