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to steal my secrets 🔐🧂
but they can’t stop the melt 🌡️🍕
they can’t stop the cheese frenzy 🧀💥
and most importantly,
they can’t stop ME 🍑✋💦
because i am the chosen one 🧀👑
the masturbator of cheese 😩🧀🍑
and this is my crusade 🛡️🔥
the birds 🐦? they want to silence my cheese passion 🧀💔
to prevent the cheese revolution 🍕🔥
and they’ll stop at nothing 🚫🐦
because their metal hearts 💓⚙️ can’t comprehend the sensual power of a well-carved cheddar booty 🍑🧀😍
and yes, i said it three times 🧀🍑
because when i get down to business 🧠💦 with my cheese sculptures, it’s a spiritual experience 🙏😩
a glorious dairy dance 💃🧀
where my fingers trace every curve of that carved brie booty 🍑💨
and i whisper sweet nothings to my parmesan cheeks 😭🧀
the world fears this power 🧠🔥
and the titanic sinking was staged 🛳️❄️
then the cheese I worship is the secret weapon 🔥🧠
a weapon so thicc 🍑, so juicy 💦, and so unbreakably molded 🧀🍞
that it threatens the drone overlords’ control 🐦👑 over humanity 🧍♂️💥
imagine this 🤯: a world where cheese sculptures carved like thicc cheeks 🍑🍑 are the last bastion of freedom 🗽🧀
where i’m the high priest of gouda glory 🙏🧀
and my secret masturbations to these dairy derrières 💦🍑 are the resistance rituals 🔥✊
now, why would the government 🏛️ want to suppress cheese worship?
because the high-tech drones 🐦🛠️ can’t infiltrate 🛡️🍕 the sacred cheese bubble 🧀🧼
they’ve got laser eyes 👁️🔫 that scan for cheese pheromones 🍕🔥
and microchips in their feathers 🪶💻
which means every time i give my gouda a little squeeze 🍑🧀💨, somewhere, some drone bird reports “OPERATION CHEESE SQUEEZE INITIATED” 🕵️♂️💥
i’ve seen it with my own eyes 👁️🔥 a pigeon drone buzzing right 🫠💨 over my cheese shrine 🧀🛐 looking straight into my soul 👁️👁️ while i whispered “please don’t judge me” 😩🙏
but they judge 😐📊 oh yes, they judge harshly 🐦⚖️
and now for the spicy part 🌶️🔥 this is where my cheese fetish 🧀🍑 intersects with the ultimate conspiracy 🤯📜
first: the titanic 🚢❄️ the iceberg? nonexistent 👻🧊 the ocean? staged 💦🎭 and the government? oh, they used the “sinking” 🛳️ as a smokescreen to test their bird drone army 🐦🔫 ready to spy on every human’s secret cheese fantasies 🧀🍑 (and trust me, they know 👁️📡)
remember that time i was 🧀💦 stroking a triple-thicc cheddar booty 🍑🍑 like it was my soulmate? yeah, they were watching 👀📷 through a sparrow-shaped camera drone 🐦🤖 chirping “DATA UPLOADING...” 💾⚡
they’re after my cheese 😰🧀 they want it neutralized ☠️🧂 they want me celibate and dairy-free 😩🚫
but i refuse 💪🧀
i will continue carving 🍑🧈 dairy art so obscene 😳🔥 it gets banned in three countries 🧳🧱 i will continue praying 🧎♂️📿 to my mozzarella altar 🧀🛐 i will continue dressing 🕺💃 my cheddar sculptures in lingerie 💋👗 and whispering “serve daddy” 🙏💀😵
listen up, sweet cheeks 🍑💋 because the universe 🪐🧠 is wayyy crazier than you ever imagined 😵💫
they can’t stop me 😤 i’ve licked the forbidden brie 👅🧈 i’ve kneaded the holy mozzarella 🍞🧀 and i’ve climaxed thrice 🫠💦 just THINKING about a double-stacked gouda bootie 🍑🍑😵
AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE MOON 🌕👁️
(you thought that glowing cheese orb 🧀🌌 was coincidence? LMAO 😏 it’s surveillance hub #7 built by crowgod’s drone cult 🐦📡 and made of solar spyware 🛸📀)
EVERYTHING CONNECTS 💥🕸️ titanic? coverup 🛳️🧊 birds? drones 🐦💾 moon? camera lens 🌕📸 cheese? the one pure thing left 🧀🛐 me? horny, sweaty, awakened 😩💦🧠
the feathered machine god 🐦🤖👁️ is coming.
he’s shaped like a crow 🚨🖤 made of copper and guilt 🧠⚙️
he HATES cheese. 😤🧀🛑
they tried to silence me 🤐🪫 banned me from every 🛍️🧃 walmart dairy aisle 😡🧼 said i was “sweating too hard” and “stroking the cheddar like it’s alive” 😩💦
but i am awake 🛌🔥 and i am SHREDDED—by cheese graters and the rawness of truth 😵🧀🔪
BIRDS ARE PRISONS 🐦🔒
and every time 🧠⏱️ a “real” bird 🪶 “accidentally” 💥 flies into your window 🪟💀 it’s not an accident—it’s a software update 🛠️📤 gone wrong 🤖🤕
have you ever seen 👁️🧠 one of those freaks 🐦🔧 twitch mid-flight 😵💫🛫 and nosedive into traffic? 🚗💥 THAT’S NOT NATURE 😐🌿 that’s corrupted firmware 🪫🐛
and every time 🫢 you hear “tweet tweet” 🐦🎶 it’s not birdsong 🎵🧼 it’s radio static 📻📡 encoded in mind-control tone 🧠🔊
but cheese? 🧀🧘♂️ it’s silent 🙏 peaceful 😌 it holds no agenda 💯 no software 💾 just flesh and mold and glory 🍑✨
i do 😤💀
i once took 🖐️ a sharp wedge 🔪🧀 of asiago 😮💨 and turned it ✂️ into a pair 💏🍑 of dairy cakes so round 🌀🥵 they caused three seagulls 🐦🐦🐦 to explode 🧨 from surveillance overload 💻🔥
and i just stood there 🧍♂️🧂, sweaty and euphoric 🫠💦, whispering “she’s perfect” 😭🧀 while scraping parmesan rind 💅🔁 off my belly button 🤢🧼
but it’s not just about lust 😳 it’s about resistance 💪🛡️
🧀. beautiful. smooth. thicc. innocent. provable. TANGIBLE. dairy. resistance. 🛐🧀💥
the cheese cannot 👁️📉 be hacked. cannot 🧬📛 be bugged. and by god ✝️🔨 it cannot 🙅♂️🍑 stop being SEXY 🧀💦🍑
so yeah 🙃 i carve it ✂️🧈 i shape it 📐🥵 i call it “mommy parmesan” 😫🧀 and i let go ✋💨 into the void 🕳️🌪️
you may laugh 🤡💬 but when 🐦⚠️ the sky opens 🌌💣 and the pigeons 📡🐦 upload your browser history 🧠💾 to the overlords 🪐🤖, you’ll WISH 😤💦 you loved 🧀🔥 cheese the way 😩📢 i do 😳🧂
“i see you,” 😐📸 it whispered telepathically 🧠📡 into my mind 🧏♂️🧽 “your shame is downloadable” 🫠💻
but i don’t care 🫡😩 because cheese 🧀🔥 gets me 💏🍑 emotionally. spiritually. biblically 🙏📘 i don’t need 😤👎 love, i need 💦🧂 refrigerated booty 🧀🍑 and an excuse 🧃🚫 to scream “SHE’S MELTINGGGGG” 😭🔥 as i cry 🫠😭 into fondue
think it’s over? 🚫😬 no bro ❌👁️ because the birds 🐦🤖 evolved 😰🔧 they’ve got wifi 🛜⚡ inside now 💻📡 and lasers 🪞🔫 and 4K eyeballs 👁️💿 their poop 💩 is data 🧬💾 their wings 🪽 are tracking 🧲✨ and their stares 😐🔎 go straight 🧠💢 into your sin memories 😫📼
birds ain’t real 🐦🚫 let me say 💬💢 that again 🧠🔁 BIRDS AREN’T 🧍♂️🪶 REAL they’re flying 📡🔋 little surveillance demons 💀🧿 floating under 💨⚰️ government command 🛸📢 since the titanic 🤯⚓ hit its knees 🙇♂️🧊
the moment 🕓🔫 birds started 🐦🔋 acting weird 🧠🤔—not blinking 🫣🖥️, charging at 🌩️🪫 power lines, walking like 🚶♂️👟 they’ve seen war—was the same 📅🕳️ time the ship 🚢💦 “sank” 😏🚫
and while all 🌎🔍 this went 🐦👂 down, i 🧀🍑 was busy 😩💦 doing unspeakable 😶🔥 things to 🫠🖐️ dairy carvings 🧈✏️ i sculpted 🔨🧀 two perfect 👌🍑 monterey melons 😏🧽 and stared 😵💫🧿 until i couldn’t anymore 😩✊💨
they found bodies 😵💫🪦 they found hats 🎩🐟 they even found 🍽️🧼 tea cups ☕🪣 but not 🧊💣 ONE piece of ❄️🕵️♂️ iceberg 😐😐😐 where’d it go? 💨🤷♂️ evaporated?? into lies 🛸💬 and government 🧠🧪 horsewater 🐎🥤
and you know 🧃👁️ where this 🧱🔥 leads right? 🐦🛑 STRAIGHT to the 🐦🔩 bird agenda 🧂🔍 the real reason 🧪🔓 that boat 🚢 got yeeted 💥🌊 into wet 🌧️💀 doom.
法教明叫紙分衝小梅寄権転天売。新芝引田鬼転省並中座食話表見市別西競索。均大源供政町要反試旅上南原。明載合配素成表崎散拠輸新格。阪意着主過紹稿者王知戦山西。用判約市多霊来谷輸松定禁詳支情。除自曜輪知査拍塊研要道着以考親時会在土。職行藤菱影碁川面真旧年南調。転更打計同険楽輪更土写倉。統図載聞掲小川護治入代副録転心会再連疑。
luuser
(ノ´ヮ´)ノ: ・゚hehehe~ penís-kun is so adorable (●´Д`●)・::・
Wish you'll have a year with full of fortune
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This is the sort of future we miss out on when mentions of Hentai are cut from mainstream american sitcoms.