Own a laser musket for home defense, since that’s what the Founders of the New American dream intended. Four raiders break into my settlement. “What in the name of Liberty Prime?” I exclaim as I grab my Minuteman tricorn and crank my musket furiously. Blow a fusion-cell-sized hole through the first man, he evaporates into a pile of glowing ash. Draw my 10mm pistol on the second, miss entirely because my V.A.T.S. luck stat is garbage, and instead hit a passing bloatfly. I have to resort to the Fat Man mounted above the fireplace, loaded and ready. “Democracy is non-negotiable!” The mini-nuke turns my house and two raiders into a smoking crater, sending debris flying all the way to Diamond City. The last terrified raider stumbles back, but I fix my Revolutionary sword and charge. He bleeds out, crippled by radiation burns, waiting for a Stimpak that will never come. Just as the Sole Survivor intended.

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢠⣄⡀
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡆
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠟⣻⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣠⣾⣿⡇
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠋⠻⣿⡀⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠄⠄⢻⣧⣀⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⡇
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣇⠄⠄⣼⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿
⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁
⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⡟⠛⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⢟

Now, let’s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realise that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY!

This would mean that we’d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?

"Who’s joe?" a distant voice asks.

Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location.

The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar.

”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered.

The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear.

"I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.

Candice? Oh I know Candice. She's originally from Kenya, but currently lives on the island of Sugaundesse, right on the coast of Garlglinon. She works at the local Wendy's, enjoys fitness as well tapes and CDs, specifically those by the band imagine dragons. Unfortunately she's in the hospital right now due to getting a nasty case of ligma from smoking too much mind goblin after her friend Joe pressured her. But none of that's important. What's really important is that she's finally... Getting... Updog

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate Stuart Little Stuart Little is a piece of ♥♥♥♥. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I cant even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ convertible. I swear to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god, I’m going to kill myself and take that damn rodent to hell with me. I approached the miserable mouse in the street and asked him for his autograph because my son is a huge fan. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ didnt write his autograph, no he wrote “youre a piece of ♥♥♥♥, and i ♥♥♥♥♥♥ your mom”. Im now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over Stuart.