Meme

SIR, SIR, SIR I'M AN SCP AND I ESCAPED MY DEN, COME CATCH ME

have you been a good boy this month

Celebrity stalkers are the WORST! Keanu Reeves will NOT stop calling my work and hanging up. It's getting pretty ridiculous. I think the worst thing about celebrity stalkers is the fact that they bring an entire entourage with them.

Really hard to shower with 6 dudes taking selfies outside my window.

ℳ𝒆𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly ♥♥♥ every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.