Recent reviews by Mr. Bix

imagine if nuclear throne made love to hades while secretly thinking of metal slug and also enter the gungeon was in the closet watching

it's fine i guess? the plot is total nonsense and the game is full of interesting systems and the possibility of buildcrafting, but you run out of missions to do before any of it has a chance to matter. your postgame consists of one (1) mission and two repeatable online missions

if you don't mind a game with a schlocky story that's total nonsense and kind of mindless combat, i'd say grab it for like 15 bucks, otherwise pass

it straight up doesn't work

loads gfwl, which never actually logs you in even if you have an account set up on your system, if you try to close the overlay the game just freezes

was sold an outright broken product, refunded it

i could go on at length about all the various reasons i hate the online portion of this game and its ♥♥♥♥♥♥ combat, ♥♥♥♥♥♥ mission design, ♥♥♥♥♥♥ netcode, and ♥♥♥♥♥♥ character customization options

but instead, i'm going to focus on the blatant anti-consumerism and wallet-milking committed by rockstar and take two with a simple mockup of the tone presented to me by this game:

"hey look at this hilarious parody of american consumerism and their ~credit cards~ and ~materialism~ haha isn't it funny haha incidentally why not buy a shark card?"

and now take two issued a C&D against the openiv team so i guess that deserves a place in this review as well

never buying another take two game again

they can't release a major update for this without ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ breaking everything