Last month, a notorious paedophile Sidney Cooke was blasted into space to spend the rest of his life aboard a one-man prison vessel, posing no further threat to children on Earth. But it was also revealed that an 8-year old boy was also placed on board by mistake, and is now trapped alone in space with the monster. A spokesman said, "This is the one thing we didn't want to happen".

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I'm flattered.