THE LEGEND OF RITZ CRACKER TYRONE

Ritz Cracker Tyrone was once a young orphan boy who lived in a tiny village in Sudan. Tyrone lived with 7 other slaves in the Caterina Plantation, which was owned by Trevon Caterina, the slave master. Tyrone did nothing but pick cotton all day, and then when night fell, he would sleep in an old barn with the rest of the slaves. Then one day, Trevon Caterina went out to feed the slaves near the barn, but he made a mistake. He brought a pack of Ritz Crackers with him. Tyrone was asleep when he heard his master outside the barn. "Wake up, it's time to eat you maggots!" Trevon said. Tyrone awoke, and went outside to eat the meal his master had prepared for him and the other slaves, corn and fish. But Tyrone noticed something else. While the other slaves were getting ready to eat their meals, Tyrone found a weird round shape on the ground. It was a Ritz Cracker. Tyrone knew he wasn't supposed to touch things that belonged to his master, or he would be in big trouble. But Tyrone was feeling brave, and he grabbed the cracker, and immediately put it in his mouth. As soon as he was about to bite down, his master saw him through a window. "WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥ ARE YOU DOING!?" Trevon said. Tyrone, startled by this, began to violently choke. He tried to cough it up, but it just wouldn't get unstuck. His master was furious that Tyrone had eaten something that belonged to him, and began to strangle him, oblivious that Tyrone was choking to death. What happened next was nothing less than amazing. Tyrone finally swallowed the Ritz Cracker, but he felt different, as if the Ritz Cracker was soaring through his body, his veins, and his blood. He felt powerful. Tyrone grabbed Trevon, and threw him to the ground. Trevon was obviously scared that a little kid could throw him like that, but he was still mad that Tyrone ate his cracker, so he got up from the ground, and started punching Tyrone in the stomach. Tyrone laughed, as the punches did nothing but go right through him. Tyrone grabbed Trevon again, but this time, Tyrone wanted Trevon to stay down. He launched himself into the air with the power of the Ritz Cracker, Grabbed Trevon's head, and smashed it back down to the ground. Trevon's head imploded, blood and bits of brain went everywhere, splashing againt everything near the area. Tyrone defeated his master. Right then and there, Tyrone felt a Ritz Cracker come potruding out of his forehead, and he knew what he had to do. He had to fight crime, and become the ultimate superhero of Sudan.

He became...

Ritz Cracker Tyrone.