🏴‍☠️ Captain VAC Sparrow 🦜


Ahoy, ye landlubbin' silver scrubs! I be the filthiest, most questionably legit gunslinger to ever sail the seven servers. Some call me a cheater, others call me a tactical genius, but truth be told… I just have that kind of aim where even the anti-cheat don’t know what’s goin’ on.

🦵 Legs? Never seen 'em, I shift walk like a sewer rat.
🍆 Aim? Like a drunk stepdad tryin’ to hit the toilet at 3 AM.
🗺️ Game sense? About as lost as your dad on his way back with the milk.
🔫 Playstyle? Rush B, no plan, just raw testosterone and regret.
💰 Skins? Spent my life savings on pixels, still rocking default knife.
📡 Ping? Higher than your mom’s body count.
💀 Ratio? Worse than your chances of getting laid.
🎤 Mic? Open 24/7 for peak callouts like "HE’S F***IN’ WALLING, BRO!"

But alas, when the salty sea dogs in my lobby call me suspicious, I simply tip my tricorn hat, take a sip of me grog, and ask…

"But why is the VAC always gone?" 🍻💀

⚠️ WARNING: May randomly throw smokes like I’m casting black magic, eco rush with a Negev, and moan in the mic mid-1v1.