you said you were going to the store to get milk but you never came back, and now you're playing Rocket League. Does Mom know you left for another man?

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Memphis Mud Muffin


When you ♥♥♥♥ yourself and take your underwear off and fold them over then hand them to your friend
"That bastard Carl. He ate Chinese last night then gave me a Memphis mud muffin for breakfast."

I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥ing my girlfriend last week. I’m still ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine.

OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninterested in me it ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i'm begging you to either love me back or remove me and NEVER contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you don't love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life

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It's UNCOOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how UNCOOL they are