To the assh0le who put mustard packets under the toilet rim. Nothing in this world would give me more pleasure than finding out who you are, digging up your childhood pet and beating you with its corpse. Somewhere between wiping off mustard off my balls and removing my now yellow boxers, I realised that this injustice cannot go unsettled. For the rest of your life in your most private moments know that I, the only thing preventing a dysfunctional veteran from waterboarding you with mustard is the knowledge of your existence. I hope you stub your toe every day for the rest of your life.