“Hello, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard. We are presently flying at twenty-four thousand feet on our flight from Amsterdam to London. We are expecting a smooth flight and anticipate an on-time arrival in London at 7:38 AM GMT. We hope you enjoy your flight.”

“Uh, hello, it’s me again – your captain. We’re sorry but we lost a bit more time coming back from out west. The passenger in 5C thought it would be a good idea to decrease our speed and fly at a lower altitude. He just got his pilot’s license and he wanted us to follow the protocols he had been taught. Of course he was taught to fly a Piper and has only soloed a few times; but he is a professional after all, and we didn’t need to pay for his advice, something about insurance, but that doesn’t matter. What a deal!”