Ahh I remember this game... let me tell you my story...

>stroll into my local GameStop
>looking to pick up maybe a copy of just this game, my lust and passion has craved for
>grab the game and gallop towards the register when my trained eye notice a charming maiden
>-"Pardon me, milady....but could you ring me up? A Shame I don't have your number, or i'd ring you up instead..."
>she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
>her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
>"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have a special taste!"
>I smile and ready a witty response when... SUDDENLY a voice rings out from behind
>-"AHAHAH look what this looser is buying! That's not EA Star Wars Battlefront! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!!!11one"
>I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst..
>generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing..
>-"Excuse me sir.....you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady"
>-♥♥♥♥ you looser!"
>I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them...
>-"As you wish..."
>I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
>he bellows and charges forward
>I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
>I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
>-"...requiescat in pace...."
>As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirlig her hair with her fingers, bumping up in front of me and I inhale as her lady parts jumps up and down like my heartbeat..
>-"So... maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?"
>I smirk, and whisper "No thanks, milady. I prefer single player. Besides...."
>I sheath my sword..
>-"You're not my type."
>*grab my dew and dorros, skate away on my Heelys*