cactus
VODKA WIZARD EXTRAORDINAIRE   United States
 
 
Suddenly, the small potted plant lept into the air, screaming in an almost mechanical voice: "Cactus."

The onlookers were horrified as the plants, carrying their pots began to bounce around violently, slamming into people at speeds in excess of [REDACTED].

Several D-Class personnel were killed in the attack.

Nothing of value was lost.

"I guess that went better than I expected. Still, we need to keep these things locked down more tightly. God knows what'll happen if they get loose again." -Dr. █████████

-------

Out of the eerie silence of the research facility's now empty and lifeless corridor, came the faint whisper of a man. What sounded like the flailing of limbs against the hard linoleum of the hallways stopped for a moment, the whisper once again resounding through the hall.

Klaxons sounded, red warning lights spinning wildly into action. A female voice spoke over the facility's intercom system, inaudible in comparison to the racket of the alarms. The late-night research teams were the only ones on staff. No security was present at the time.

A quiet room, isolated from the chaos in the rest of the facility. A Research team was startled to the sound of banging against their reinforced security door. They flicked on a monitor. Containment breach.

The banging continued. Researchers kept about their work. Seven inches of solid steel, seven inches of protection. The researchers knew nothing would be getting through that door tonight, no matter what it was.

Safety did not last long into the night. The door began to creak, the once light thumping becoming a heavy, rhythmic pounding. The security monitor flashed, desperately trying to warn the foolish souls still in the lab that danger was imminent.

The latches and locks on the door began to give way. Pieces fell off as though they were a snowfall in the winter. The rhythmic pounding continued, a very faint, almost mechanical inaudible voice heard just before each hit.

Now terrified, the researchers gathered in the back of the lab. Huddled together as though they were a pack of rats. A large piece of the door broke free, and landed with a loud bang next to the group. A man looked through the hole, a very blank, sincere expression on his face as he whispered:

"Kees me."

The horrors that occurred that night were, for the most part, stricken from any and all records. The researchers were found in the morning, looking as though they were [REDACTED] lemons and [REDACTED]. The door had been pounded by an unknown force, external from the one which had killed the researchers. An estimated energy of [REDACTED] was exerted on the door in total, causing the catastrophic failure depicted in Security Footage AF-████T. All security personnel who have seen the footage have [REDACTED].

This document classified at the Top Secret level. It is to be considered eyes-only, under issuance of Dr. ██████.

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