Mittens the warrior; Frightning, fearsome, fast as lightning, broken swords and widows crying, cloak on cat and buildings flat, burning, blood and dying. Fear the mighty panther, cougar, cheetah, lion, tiger, and beg for mercy for the kittens or die at the bloody paws of Mittens.

(To the tune of You ain't never had a friend like me)
Well, Danish duckling had his 40 fleets and Andy had a 1000 fails...
Well then buddy your in luck because on your steam, you got a player that will never bail!...
you've got a sniper in your co-op now. got a gunner/designer for your tanks.
you've got some crunch, some spaz, you call out now, all you gotta do is open that chat!
and i'll say:
MR MITTENS SIR...
what will your pleasure be?
ill take your order, grab loadout, you aint never had a friend like me!
games are your platform, and I'm your Invite'ee.
ill listen to what it is you'll rant, you aint never had a friend like me!
Yes sir I pride myself on service.
Your the boss, the king, the sarge!
say what you wish it's yours no sh*t, after a little more bioshooooock.
have some of my best grenades, Have ALL my health kits...
ive got the loot, to share my dude...
you aint never had a friend like me!
*dances with kangaroos* *him and kangaroos open and chug some beer*
can your friends do this... *dodges the pedestrians in gta*
Can your friends do that... *admin spawns mit some minecraft blocks*
can your friends pull this... *rpgs tank bearing down on mit* out their Arma caps?
Can your friends go POOF! *shoots smoker*...
Well lookie here! *indicates Pills cache*
can your friends go Abracadabra... let her rip! and make the sucker disaapeaaaar? *magicka blasts the enemys to oblivion*
well dont just sit there, slack jaw buggy eyed, ive got photoshop to give to ma friends!
you've got the Pomm friendly, Aussified, you've got a team-mate for shooting theirs.
Ive got some free time to help you out, unless theres work then i rlly gotta go...
you've got a game goen 3hours long no doubt... well all you gotta do is let me knoooehhooow!
MR MITTENS SIR...
have my gun or two or three? I'm job, to make in bulk, you ain't...
never had a friend,never had a friend you ain't... *doughnuts in mustang*
never had a friend,never had a friend you ain't... *chugs huge keg of beer*
Never... had a... Friennnnnddd liiiiiikkke meeeeee..... *does a finale stage per


^^ Written by El Roberto