when u make a slightly offensive joke at the dinner table

You: 😂😂

Your brother: 🤣🤣

Your mom : 😤😤🤯🤯

The dinner table: I’m a table i can’t speak

Casio fx-300ES PLUS Scientific Calculator, Black : 2/3=2/3

Mechanical keyboard: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK

That girl i asked directions to: “Oh god, i have a boyfriend”

Shane Dawson: Oh god i just had sex with my pet i feel awful i’m so sorry

My dad: Commits tax fraud

My foreskin: Dude why did you cut me off bro i miss you

If a serial killer ever kidnaps me, ties me up & tortures me im gonna pretend like its my fetish and im super into it. Only 3 things can happen; he's weirded out and lets me go, he's into it too and I get some ♥♥♥♥, or he kills me. Either way I end up winning😌💅✨

God, I want to ♥♥♥♥ the Fortnite banana so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad. Imagine him in bed; his lustful eyes gazing into yours as you penetrate his peel. How warm he feels on the inside. His thick, yellow curves bending just to right into your chest as you thrust into him mercilessly. Imagine the warmth and extreme pleasure that you must get when you finally release your load into the Fortnite banana. His gushy insides become soaked with your seed. All that cholesterol, covered in your juice. You peel him back and take a bite of that sweet victorious fruit and taste your proud work and dedication on your tongue. The banana pushes his beautiful curved form against your body as you drift off to sleep, having had the most incredible and most amazing orgasm you have ever felt in your life— all thanks to the Fortnite banana.

-rep Wall Hacker needs to be reported