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Recent reviews by His.be ™

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Showing 1-10 of 36 entries
1 person found this review helpful
Recommended
513.9 hrs on record (139.3 hrs at review time)
Whatever handshake was made , whatever deal was dealt or project accomplished in my adult life I always told myself these aren't the hands I remember having

In another review I've jokingly made, I called out From soft for being hacks and to bring back armored core series with the high acclaimed release of elden ring. I can't help but think back to then and now.

Bloodborne was a surprise, ace combat being revitalized was a good distraction, and elden ring was alright I guess - but the hands, the hands always felt slow as days passed.

Where I grew up we had a local CEX, for those that don't know it's basically a gamestop of sorts but they sell niche media titles, used electronics of a pre iphone era, and games for cheap. There I truly got to flesh out just how huge the ps2 library really was. I remember buying armored core 3 for something like 8$, then silent line for another 10
Then armored core 2, another age, formula front, ninebreaker, nexus, and last raven - and it was all for less than a copy of MvC2 used for the ps2.
Time passed new systems came along
But I felt like I punched my ticket of sorts, leave it to the new crowd - I've had my fill. I'm done.
it's tough to say if this series is what shaped how I approach solutions to problems. That I am unsure of, but what I do know is these aren't the hands I remember having...And everyday is a testament to that.

Fast forward to Fires of Rubicon trailer being announced, with everyone having their "oh, ♥♥♥♥" moment mine was when I recognized some of the parts from the later trailers. Seeing that convinced me to pre-order. "Even if it doesn't live up to my expectation, at least it's recognizable to me and that deserve merit" I thought.

The game releases and play it for the first time day 1.
Immediately I set control type B and crank up the camera speed in settings.

Everything about the game felt familiar
The more I played, the more I let intuition take over the more I realized these hands never changed.

It's weird. It's weird having to sound pretentious enough to say something was made for "me" to have a much larger group then I thought imaginable share in that. When I unlocked all achievements to this game it was sitting at a 1% global rate - Now it's at a 3% percent . This ARMORED CORE game is not being abandoned. That's insane to me.

That's enough sentiment, whats the game like?
If I had to describe this game it would be that it's the equivalent of Kaneda's Bike.
It's not made for you, and the price for "fun" is steep. But the sooner you understand why things are the more you can revel in the feeling of godliness for thinking about your approach and modifying a play style with finesse and not brute force.

The game is a roller coaster ride, not too long in the tooth but incredibly memorable - It will collect dust once you finish it to the bone

....But you will pick it up again and get that reminder that your hands never changed.
The promise of digital library's exist to encapsulate that point in time something influenced you. With aspect ratios, format standards and hardware changes it's hard to revisit that promise .

Yet the surrealness still hits the feeling of "Holy ♥♥♥♥♥ an ARMORED CORE game exists in my steam library."

I can't grade this without bias .
All I can say is share in the feeling.
Hopefully hard mode gets incorporated down the line.
Posted 12 September, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
Recommended
61.6 hrs on record (7.8 hrs at review time)
The Following is a Review for the Resident Evil 4 Remake

I Lied , I present to you Total Bear Trap Death[i/]:

Destroy bear traps, decommission bear traps, round house kick a bear trap to the concrete, slam dunk a snare trap into a vat of acid, crucify bear traps, defecate onto a bear trap, launch bear traps into the sun, stir fry a leg-hold trap into a wok, boulder punch a bear trap into an active volcano, kick a bear trap in the springs, izuna drop a bear trap into a trash compiler, rip a bear traps padded chains off, report bear traps to the IRS, karate chop offset jaw traps into a car presser, trap bear traps in quick sand, liquefy bear traps in a vat of acid, eat bear traps, disassemble bear traps, ghost a bear trap on a movie date, stomp bear traps in used motor oil, cremate bear traps in a clay oven, lobotomize bear traps, vaporize bear traps with a ray gun, feed bear traps to alligators, kick sprung bear traps down a flight of stairs, judgment strike a bear trap with a katana, drive a bus load of bear traps into the grand canyon, break a 2x4 pallet over a bear trap, slap a group of bear traps with a gucci belt....

You get the idea
Posted 12 April, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
Recommended
2.1 hrs on record
FABULOUS shooter.
I'm a tough guy to impress on shooters, I have high standards and not much of a fashion sense because I work in the field with other men. I swear this is true.

Game is so good, I wondered what else new things have I missed out on..
I tried my first "mocktail" - delicious. Order it at the bistros on the reg when I take my day trips to the shopping districts. When I drink them I find myself able to rock my head back and laugh outloud without the inebriation knocking me over my stool.
Not gay tho.
I've tried color coordinating my wardrobe, I can't remember the last time I wore flannel now. Even do a little catwalk strut and it's worked wonders on my confidence in public.
Not gay tho.
I catch myself actually picking up and reading through GQ, men's style and VOGUE, while I get my hair done at the salon.
Not gay tho.
Yeah, I budget for the manii pedii now , I consider it maintenance on myself. Also added a little natural blush and maybe eye liner to make my eyes pop when I instruct those I work with on punchlist items for the day.
Not gay tho.

Stop looking at my hands as I write this I always typed with my pinky out like a classy gent.
It's not weird.Shutup.

10/10
Posted 24 January, 2023.
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1 person found this review helpful
Recommended
126.0 hrs on record (123.5 hrs at review time)
recommend if you can travel back in time to when it was relevant.
ACTUAL time travel not that Encino man crap.
10/10
Posted 24 January, 2023. Last edited 24 January, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
Recommended
661.2 hrs on record (659.7 hrs at review time)
CS:GO Review
Through out the years of this game I've joined matches where robot voices read oc shrek sex fantasy fanfics , polish femboys teaching me russian, russians saying "uwu" over hardbass, chinese players saying "meow" over americans, girls telling me that their boyfriends are in game and will kick my ass, guys telling me i'm hurting their masculine image because I'm embarrassing them in front of their girlfriends, live dj sets being played as the person played using a controller from dj hero, "choose your own adventure style" based on winning or losing the round, people burning money live on loot boxes in casual. I've forged lifelong friendships, and watched esteemed folks develop from innocent adolescence to shared mortgages with significant others.

I've been called every insult to man and I have been told " I love you " from hundreds of faceless voices.
And those words spoken have been the most whole heartily words spoken to me. I believed every word.

so, to them and everyone I've encountered playing this game I have this to say to you:

How about you CS:GO outside and breath air that isn't your own stank. damn .

10/10
Posted 24 January, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
27.3 hrs on record (18.5 hrs at review time)
I can't believe that they got away with putting your mom into the game again.

10/10
Posted 23 January, 2023. Last edited 23 January, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
Recommended
1.0 hrs on record (1.0 hrs at review time)
I implore you to pay close attention to this review, humble reader:

KHYZYL SALEEM, AKA "THE KYZA" IS MY FAVORITE DAD

and yes, that statement pertains to this racing game.
Posted 23 January, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
Recommended
0.9 hrs on record
I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong.

I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong.

I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong.I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I̴'̷m̷ ̸n̶o̶t̶ ̵a̸ ̶b̷o̷o̸m̷e̴r̶.̴I̶ ̷k̵n̷o̷w̷ ̷w̶h̸a̸t̶ ̶g̶o̸o̷d̴ ̴s̶h̶o̵o̶t̸e̶r̸s̶ ̶a̵r̷e̷.̷i̵t̴'̷s̶ ̸t̷h̸e̶ ̴k̵i̸d̴s̷ ̶t̷h̷a̶t̸ ̸a̴r̸e̶ ̸w̶r̸o̷n̸g̵ ̸ I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I̴'̷m̷ ̸n̶o̶t̶ ̵a̸ ̶b̷o̷o̸m̷e̴r̶.̴I̶ ̷k̵n̷o̷w̷ ̷w̶h̸a̸t̶ ̶g̶o̸o̷d̴ ̴s̶h̶o̵o̶t̸e̶r̸s̶ ̶a̵r̷e̷.̷i̵t̴'̷s̶ ̸t̷h̸e̶ ̴k̵i̸d̴s̷ ̶t̷h̷a̶t̸ ̸a̴r̸e̶ ̸w̶r̸o̷n̸g̵ ̸ Ǐ̶̧̢̡̮̝̪̼̗͎̌̈̀̈́͐͆͛̊̆̄̉̒͊͘͝͝'̸̢̹̩̱̫͈͚͉̘̻̥̮̳̘̱̯̠́̓̋͛̔̎́͌͐̆́̔̿̓̒̈́̀̕͝m̵̯̦͙̻͍͖̏̄̈́̈́́̄͛̎͘͜ ̶̢̘͖̞͆́̇͆͛̎̀̆͛͆͋͌̎̈̎͒͊͜͠n̶̟͛͛̈̎ǫ̴̫̠̣͇͖̞͖̘͈̠̺̜̫̤̩̍̇̃͆͆͐̿͊̃̍̕̕̕͜͝t̴̤͈̖͚̤͉̗͙̰̫͎̻̱͖̏ ̶̨̡̧̨͎̝͓͚̻̟̬̼̮̯͍̺̣̃͐a̶͔̟̬̗̬͕̰̋͗́̓̕ ̴̛̹̥̲̬̲͕̼̔̽̀͋̋̔̉͑̈́̑̆̕b̶̢̨̧̨̟͙̼̲̳͍͚̲͔̂͑́̈́͋̀̇̃̈̓̏͒͋͊̕͜͜͝͝o̷̡̩̲͈͘͝ơ̶͕̼̰̬̽̈́̇͊͜͝ḿ̶̩̗͎̼̓̍͐̅̾̄e̸̛͔̳̹͎̠̼̻̖̥̙̗̟̥̹̦͐̑͒̅̓͆̅͌͋̈́͒̿̀̐͝ŗ̷̣͔̻̳͙̽̽̓̑̿́͌̚̕͝ͅ.̶̡̨̼̘͖̤̣͈̞̗̖̥̰͂̅̏͆̏̈́̽̄͂̇̌̄̄͜͝ͅĮ̷̳̰̪̰̞͖͗̀͆̉̓̒̃̏̌̃͌̀̆̑́͆͌̒ ̷͈̯͎̞̈́̈̈͌̐k̷̢̧̤̗͓̙̳͔͕͔̘͇͙̩͇̘̤̍̎̏n̴̜̟̰̝̣̰̗̹̕͜ǫ̷̧̢̡̧̩̤͓͔̹̘͔̝̙̩͚̰̃̇̐͋̕w̴̧͓͈͓͓̪̩͇̒̈́̚ ̷̧̡͔͍̜̣̮͙̹̲̈́̓̆̎̈́̒̊̂̉͜ẁ̶̙̥͈͓͇͕̟͎͚̯̟̻̺͚͊́́̂̈́̔͘̕͝h̸̢̯̩̰̭̰̣̭͙̣̯͓̹̿͠å̶̜̲̫ţ̶̮̤̖̝͕̮̱͉̫̜̪̮̗̙͈̜̺͍͒ ̵̢̥͇̲̹̮͈̪͔̤̍͌̿͒̓̓̐̾̆͆̆̓̚͜͝g̸͔̰͈̲̼͕̺͆̓̇̇̄̈́̽̋͗̒̒͗̔̅͜͝͝͝ö̶̜͓̥̮̞̩̳̖̭͕̱́̑̓̒̋̍̋̑̐̎͋̍̕̕͘͜͜͜͝ơ̷̺̼̥̣͉̦̈́̿̽̊̅̌̇̉̄̿͒͘̚ḑ̸̒̂̾̀̏́͊͗́̋̕͝͝ ̸̧̢̮͕̤̜͈̟̻̟̮͍̝͇̙̲̩̲̱͆s̵̡̨̻͉̦̰̦̙͇͍̰͍̟̮͕͙̩̤̏̂̒̀̑́̾̕͜͝h̵̨̧̧̻̟͈̭̜̲̼̫̗̯̜̜͋̑̎̆̀́͂͗͛͒͝ͅơ̵̧̘͕͉͓͉͖̘͓͓̯̞̳̜̯͖̞̖͎̄̓̄̽͋̌̉̀̂̎̕͝ǫ̴̮̠͎̥͈̦̻̪̞͓̮̝̋̆̍͝t̸̻̼͙͔̭͇̝̘̣̩̋̿̈́̈̽͝e̶̹̞̦̚ŗ̷̨͈͖͈̮̺̠͕̬̗͉̆̈́͊̍ŝ̷̡̟̗͗̅́̓̅̋͒̈́́̚̕͘͠ ̴̱̯̠̦̓̔ą̶̧̗͖̖̪̟̖͔̯͙̱͖̜̗̞̍͜ͅr̷̨̯̜̘̖͍̤͔̭͕͖̻̗̹͍̖̟͆͒͑̽̂̀̀́̂̌̀͑͋̇̊͘̚ͅḙ̶̭͉̤̗͎̥͉͎̗̋̀͋̀̒͑̈́̉̽̌͘͜͠͝.̸̥̳̤̹͈̰̘̪̭̫͇͎̮͖̦̭́́̌i̴̙͒̇̈́̏͊͒̌͆̈̈̈́́͘t̴̢̪̘̰͓̩̩͇̺͎̗̾̍̈̓̋̂̐͊͊̎̐͊͐̉̇͛͝͠'̵̢̨̢̛̜͍͔͖͎̺͉̱̫̤̙͆̓̏̌̉̀̀̆̍͌̕ͅs̵̡̖̯̭͎̬̩͙͕͍͕̼̘͖̙̭͌͑͂̋̒̉̃̊ ̶̧͈̤͖̠͖̽̏͊͆͐̂͂͐̑̐̃́t̷͔̩̜̦̬͓̣͍̗̞̩̦̖̼̳̀̐̍͜h̴̝̟͑̏̆͋̍̒̾̏͛͊́͆̍͜͠͝e̴̩̯̲̮̳͚̞͚̺͈̓̀̈̈́̂̄͌͛̎̾́͐̄̃͊͂͠͝ ̸͍̝̳̖͎̞̱̳͖̮̲̳̰̜̯͕̍̇̇́͆̈́͋͗̓͆̋̏k̴̨̟̖̹͈͉̻̦̪͛͑̃̓̉̋̿͒͋͘i̷̧̤͔̞͔̜̥̖̗̥̤̯̥̻̺͐̃͊͊̍͋̑͊͛̾̑̃̀̆̏̅̊̚ͅd̸̡̢̬̲̻̖̪̮̪̗̪̦̑̅͂̀̿͒̔͋̄̇́̾͒̀̓̉̕͜͠ͅͅs̸̩̭̪̟͖̫͋́́̑̍͛̌̎͐̌̀͐͝ ̵̡̨̨͉̪͓̼̪̮͖̱͉͈̈́̎̄̊̓͝t̴̠̩̦̟͕̺̘̗̙̭̝͉̗̣̘̖̮̟͖̄͑̄̀̽̉̂̀͋̑͑̓̊̾̊͒̚̚͝h̸̨̥͇͚̮̲͈̫̳͑̊̉̋̓͊̾̅̀̑͐͊͌͊̂̚̕͝a̸̢͙͖̱̟̣̍̀̉̈̅͊͒́̄͑̎̒̈́̽̽̂̚͠͠ṭ̵̢̡̳̝̰̩͉͂́ ̵̤̺̟͎̗̉͂́͂̂̿͠͝a̷̡͖̰͉̞̹͇̬̙̘͎̎́̔͋̀̽͒̈̕͜͝r̶̨̢͚͇̗̍̅̽̈̒͊͑̽̆̽̕̕͜ͅe̵͕̬̺̺̋̅̐̊̐̔̀͜͝ ̵͈͚̟̹͒̀̐̓̆́̈́̈̋̄̅͘̕͠͠w̸̨͉̬̮͙̻̖̗͓̪̳̫̻̰͙̋ṙ̷̯́̈́̿̾̅͛́̄̂͑̉͛́͋̿̓̔͠o̴̠̣̭̟͖̣͙̭͊̋̓̔̐̾͑̉̑͋͗͘̚n̶̢͇̜̓͘g̷̳̖̱̱̒̉̄̚ͅ ̶̛͈͍̘̞̔̓͒͛̇̏͊͊̋́͑̂̌͂̕ I̴'̷m̷ ̸n̶o̶t̶ ̵a̸ ̶b̷o̷o̸m̷e̴r̶.̴I̶ ̷k̵n̷o̷w̷ ̷w̶h̸a̸t̶ ̶g̶o̸o̷d̴ ̴s̶h̶o̵o̶t̸e̶r̸s̶ ̶a̵r̷e̷.̷i̵t̴'̷s̶ ̸t̷h̸e̶ ̴k̵i̸d̴s̷ ̶t̷h̷a̶t̸ ̸a̴r̸e̶ ̸w̶r̸o̷n̸g̵ ̸I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong.I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'm not a boomer.I know what good shooters are.it's the kids that are wrong. I'M NOT A BOOMER. I KNOW WHAT GOOD SHOOTERS ARE. IT'S THE KIDS THAT R WRONG.

10/10.









Posted 23 January, 2023. Last edited 23 January, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
3.4 hrs on record
They say good art imitates life

I too agree the crouch is the cockpit that pilots the soul.

10/10
Posted 23 January, 2023.
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17 people found this review helpful
4 people found this review funny
Recommended
36.0 hrs on record
This review section is overly saturated with big brain critiquing and equally big words.

look, I'll keep it simple:

There's two types of people ,
The ones who compare everything to a particular eastern fantasy medieval action role-playing game.

...and then there's the ones who always pick up the lead pipe in Streets of Rage and swing it with no discretion for friendly-fire

10/10 It's a disservice to not explain the game was made for both.
Posted 23 January, 2023.
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Showing 1-10 of 36 entries