hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

I think I met you on tinder. Not sure tho but hmu

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HOLY COW. Your penis is gigantic. GIGANTIC. Your penis is literally the biggest thing within the tri-state area. Your penis is bigger than a small elephant. It is bigger than, like, a tree. A big ol' tree. Probably a coniferous. Lots of branches on your penis. You must wake up every morning and thank the good lord above. You are truly blessed. Congrats.

January 5th, 2015. It was 45 degrees below freezing where no life living creatures were in sight. For today all I thought my day was going to be was staying cozy right next to fire place, eating my left over lasagna from about a week ago, and organizing my massive dildo collection. I have over 400+ dildos gathered from all of my adventures around the world but I knew some how today, one of them was not breaching into my right little ass.

The door bell rings *DING DONG* "IM TAKING A ♥♥♥♥!" as I scream across my house hoping that who or what ever it is would receive this message into his inner ear canals. *DING DONG DING DONG DONG DING* they are so persistent, they're just like a beetle who just got ♥♥♥♥♥♥ by a centipede who has full blown AIDS but the beetle doesn't know about his herpes and just want his good ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Saint of a penis. I cautiously walked down this perfectly scened long hallway to this burgundy door. Reaching for the ebony black doorknob, I grasp it and what I do next will change the course of my life forever. I opened the squeaky ass door and what I saw before me was I cant describe with words, emotion, music or anything. It was...

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