Anticinemite's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 9:53am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:34am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 3:41am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 5:19am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 7:09am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 21 May, 2015 @ 3:55am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:45am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 2:45am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 6:25am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 9 May, 2015 @ 8:00am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 6:45am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 May, 2015 @ 10:43am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 22 May, 2015 @ 7:15am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 5:20am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 7:27am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 2:23am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 7:32am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 9 May, 2015 @ 7:47am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 5:47am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 3:38am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 5:56am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 15 May, 2015 @ 8:46am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2022 @ 8:14am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2022 @ 7:25am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 4:20am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 3:47am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 6:16am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 3:44am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 21 May, 2015 @ 3:53am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2022 @ 11:49am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 3:31am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 3:41am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 7:22am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 3:35am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 9 May, 2015 @ 7:52am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 9:15am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 6:17am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:38am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2022 @ 12:20pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:56am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:47am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 4:29am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 7:11am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 May, 2015 @ 7:57am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2022 @ 7:59am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 6:07am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 7:02am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 7:18am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 4:22am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 3:28am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:53am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 2 May, 2015 @ 6:41am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 2:30am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 3:08am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 2:49am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 22 May, 2015 @ 3:23am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 10 May, 2015 @ 6:36am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 3 May, 2015 @ 6:33am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 22 May, 2015 @ 7:17am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 27 Apr, 2022 @ 1:07pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 27 Apr, 2022 @ 12:17pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2022 @ 8:53am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

8 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30